Yesterday was one of the worst parenting days I’ve ever had. There was not one time during the day that one of my children was not completely out of control. I was livid by the time my husband came home. In fact, I crawled into the bed as he finished eating dinner and hid until he had put the kids to bed. (He could feel my weariness and I didn’t even have to ask!)
After the kids went to bed (screaming), my husband and I sat on the couch and talked—about parenting, God and for some reason about dishes. My husband declared that he was better at keeping the kitchen clean because he put the dishes away immediately instead of letting them pile up. (Which, in all honesty, is kinda true.) But after the day I had, this pointed look at my failure to keep the kitchen clean hurt my feelings deeply.
I couldn’t talk anymore. So, I got up, went to my room, got ready for bed and decided to read. I picked up Don’t Make Me Come Up There! by Kristen Welch. You might know Kristen from We are THAT Family. She’s a blogging genius, an advocate for Compassion International and has started The Mercy House, a maternity home in Kenya. And I am in awe of her. I got her book as a review (because I wanted to share the awesome news of her book!) and had read a few of the short chapters when it first came in the mail.
But this night? It was as if the book was written just for me. I started with Chapter 12 entitled, “When I Fail.” Oh, I had failed this day–as a parent, homemaker and even a wife. Kristen tells of how she blew it as a mom, how she was short-tempered and impatient.
And with each confession, I cried more. I felt the same way. A failure.
Then she relayed something her pastor taught her, “When I cut my hand chopping veggies in the kitchen, the blood in my body rushes out of the wound. That’s what it was created to do. Our blood was designed to wash out the impurities and clot to protect us. When I fail as a parent or wife or a person, His blood goes to my injured heart. It rushes to the place I hurt. Because that’s what it was created to do. He is there to wash away my regret and my sin when I fail.”
By this time I was sobbing.
I try so hard–SO HARD–to teach my kids to love God. I try so hard to point them to Jesus. But sometimes I forget to do the same. Sometimes I lean on my own understanding. Sometimes I rely on my past experience. Sometimes I just think I know best and I fail to do the best thing I can do:
Lean into Jesus.
Bring him my parenting failures.
Allow His blood to cleanse my bad attitudes towards my kids.
Rely on His strength to be my joy.
I ended up reading the rest of the book that night–all 52 chapters. And the more I read, the more God’s Word and Kristen’s open and honest confessions, stories and comfort healed my wounded heart. I felt like I had a sweet friend saying, “Yup. I’ve done that too.” with every one of my mess-ups.
Oh, and my husband came into the room to apologize and held me as I sobbed into his arms. I forget I need him, too sometimes.
Do you need some encouragement today? You’re not alone. You might fail as a mom every day. (I know I do.) There are moms everywhere going through the same thing as you. And Jesus is here. He made your children. He made you. And He put the two of you together. He can teach you to work together, to love together and to lean on Him together.
ps–all the author royalties from Kristen’s book go to Mercy House Kenya. Will you buy the book? You can read it and pass it along to another mom!
Sandra says
Fan on Facebook!
Wendy F says
Amanda, I completely relate to how you feel. I’ve been there so many times. God bless!
Rachelle says
Feeling muuch the same these days…need a read like this.
Miranda says
Oh I definitely know how you feel! I’ve so have been there.
Miranda says
Tweeted:
http://twitter.com/#!/randi094/status/52781935252086786
Cara says
I’ve been having some rough parenting days too lately! I’m trying so hard NOT to yell, and to parent from a place of love but when my three and a half year old spends his whole day whining and throwing fits about everything, it gets difficult!! Believe me, I know how you feel! I’ve had my eye on this book, and would definitely love to win a copy! Thanks for the giveaway!
Jenny says
Wow! I totally totally totally know how you feel! Thank you for sharing with us in public, so many times I feel ashamed while I know I shouldn’t be. I would love to win this book!
Thank you!
Jenny says
I tweeted about it at Partains
Jenny says
I like you on FB. 🙂
Thank you for doing this.
Dixiemom7 says
I know exactly how you feel. This is the toughest job you will ever have because your whole self is invested in it & there is so much riding on your success. Just remember that He is the overcomer and His success covers all our failures.
Becky says
I definitely know how you feel!
Becky says
I follow you on Facebook!
Lisa says
Thanks for this post! I’ve been there. Feeling like a failure as a mom cuts deep.
The book looks wonderful.
Mozi Esmes Mom says
I DO know how you feel! Thank God for grace – and the chance to demonstrate its work in our own lives to our kids…
janemaritz at yahoo dot com
Annette W says
This looks incredible!! And yes, I needed this yesterday. WILD…they were insanely wild!
Ree says
I found this by typing I am a parenting failure into google… I feel like I have failed in alot these days. Just wanted to say thank you for saying out loud that you struggle sometimes too. Either all of my friends are supermums, or someone needs to come down here and hand out some emmy award, coz they all acting well!
Annie says
I feel that so often – the mommy failure, homemaker failur and wife failure. You are so right and that book sounds like such a blessing.
I know that I think I’ve got to be the only mom who messes up as much as I do. It’s nice and comforting to know that I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing and for the give away!
Linda Kish says
As a single mom, I have had a lot of days like that.
lkish77123 at gmail dot com
Lisa says
I too had a very trying day. 5 children and 3 of them sick along with a husband. Caring for them and making sure they take their medicine, drink fluids, rest and on top of that homeschooling and maintaining some order to our home. I needed to hear what you gleaned from the book. Having a baby and other children under 11 has been a challenge and the Lord knows I need some encouragement in my daily walk with him. Thank you for sharing and being honest. I too have had to find my quiet place and that is the pantry where I close the door and hold on to the wire racks and read the promises of His word that I put on the wall in the pantry. I regain my focus and ask Him to lead me on again.
Laura says
Oh yes — I know how you feel. 🙂 I’ve had very low days where I wonder why I’ve been given this title — MOM. It’s really hard sometimes. But then better days come. You’ve got our support!!
Laura says
I liked you on Facebook!
Laura says
I shared this post with my FB friends!
Katy says
Oh, Amanda…I was right there with you on Tuesday. Thank you for sharing the book. I need to read it–NOW!=)
Brittany says
Amanda, I have been there every day for the past week. I think I’m losing my mind. Get me that book! Kidding… Kinda.
Brittany says
I tweeted (BrittanyHasHope). 🙂
Brittany says
I “liked” the post on Facebook. 🙂
Brittany says
I already like Impress Your Kids on FB! 🙂
breanna says
oh girl. this was my TODAY. I forgot all about grace until I read this post.
breanna says
shared on FB
breanna says
tweeted (@_breanna)
breanna says
I like you on FB