Just 18 Summers…

Last week, I opened up the mailbox to discover a new novel inside! I rarely review novels because I already have so many books on my shelf to read, but the title of this one, Just 18 Summers got to me. I remember Nester’s post last year about 18 summers and my own 100 lists and felt like this book was something I could identify with.

So, I stuck Just 18 Summers in my purse and read it all through Asa’s gymnastics while Lydia played on the iPad. (Yes, sometimes I do let them use technology.) That night I stayed up past my bedtime to read a few more chapters. The next morning, I did laundry with one eye on the book (which, let’s be honest, was just reading the book in front of the laundry basket to make me feel like I wasn’t just lounging about eating bon-bons.)

I finished the book in less than 24 hours–crying and laughing all the way through it.

It’s a quick-paced, witty, contemporary novel that tells the story of 3 families. Each family is experiencing parenthood in different ways and in different seasons–graduating kiddos, kids getting married, new babies, spouses dying, distanced kids and more. Each chapter focused on a different character, so you got to hear about 5 or 6 heart-cries of parents. And I seemed to identify with each one–the mama who thinks time is going by too fast and has got to make some memories, the one who knows he’s glued to the screen and work but can’t break loose, the mama trying to give her kids a different life than she had but probably swinging to the other side of the pendulum, the parent so engrossed with their own feelings they can’t give to their kids.

Oh, isn’t parenting hard? It’s beautiful and rewarding but so many times I think, “This is really about ME, isn’t it? This parenting gig is barely about my kids!” It’s about how I act, how I react, how I give of myself, how I live and how I follow Jesus.

One of the characters of the book is nervous that her daughter is marrying a pizza-delivery guy and seems to be making the mistake of a life-time. The night before the wedding, she gets down on her knees and sobs before the Lord, asking him to do something in this situation. The next morning she tells her husband something so profound,

“I realized all these years I’ve prayed and I’ve prayed and I’ve prayed, but I never really trusted. I never trusted God because sometimes–most of the time–it felt like I didn’t have to. I had full control. They were under our roof. They were dependent on our money. The things that were hard in their lives, I could make easier by doing something special for them. I think at the end of the ay I trusted in…me. And God’s called me on it, you know? I’m spinning out of control because I trust in me: to be a good mom, to keep them safe and fed, to raise them as productive human beings. But you know what? It wasn’t me. It wasn’t ever me. They’re the people they are because of God’s grace in our lives. God’s mercy in my life, to be the parent I was to them. If I did anything good at all, it was because of Him.“

Oh, isn’t that just it? Besides the fact that I totally just gave you the ending of the book, don’t you love that? I try so hard to do all the right things as a mom–pray every night before bed, not yell, get them to bed on time, take them to church, teach them Bible verses, do Easter activities and pound virtues into their heads. But really? Really? It’s not me that changes my kids.

God changes them.

I’m just the farmer. I’m the one who puts the seed in. I’m the one who just follows Jesus the best I can. I’m the one who works on ME so I can do the best for my kids and see God’s grace and mercy flow into my children.

Isn’t that a relief? We get hung up on beautiful Pinterest-y lives, we want to emulate our favorite blogger’s picture-perfect life and have the adventures we see our Facebook friends have and we think it’s up to us to make it happen. But it’s God. It’s God who brings increase! It’s God who makes things grow!

This isn’t justification for slack parenting. But an encouragement to focus on Jesus–not our actions, not our kids, not our mission statements, to-do lists or goals. God takes our best effort and multiplies it. And even more? He can take the times and seasons we’ve wasted and multiply them miraculously. (<—another wise nugget from the book!)

I don’t know if I’m just talking to myself today, or if this even makes sense outside of the book but I pray as you come up against your next parenting fail or even your next win, that you see it with open eyes–see God’s mercy flowing through you.

{Check out Just 18 Summers website, too. One of my friends from back in my Children’s Pastor days is a contributing blogger (and super wise woman) on the subject of prayer. And while you’re at it, grab the book as an early Mother’s Day gift to yourself!}

 I received this book from Tyndale to review. All thoughts are my own. Affiliate links are included.