Thank you for all the amazing support last week regarding the death of Les’ grandfather. I felt like I had a big group of people just waiting for news and loving me from behind my computer. And really, I guess I did! Thank you. It meant a lot to me and my husband to see your tweets, comments and facebook messages.
I also got some amazing advice about how to explain death to your children from my Impress Your Kids readers. One person suggested relating your body and soul to a peanut. A peanut is a shell AND a peanut. The shell is just the protective covering and the peanut is the good yummy part. We used this to help Lydia understand how in the world Great-Grandpa could be dead (and his body in a box right in front of us!) but his soul, his real self, was alive in heaven. This picture really helped her.
Poor little thing. She was full of questions. We explained everything to her as we went along so she would know what to expect and Les even took her aside and read her a scripture and talked to her real specifically about everything. I just didn’t want her to hear someone say something weird and then have her little mind make up wrong information–or get scared.
We did go to the viewing–which was like two rooms. His body was in one room and then there was like a waiting room with chairs connected to it. We decided we could all be in that room with the family. But once Lydia realized that casket (or box, as she said) was close to her, she freaked. She had her hands over her eyes and was sobbing. Once we got into the lobby she was fine, but I felt so bad for her.
The next day was the funeral and the kids were like angels. Lydia was a little freaked at first to see the (closed) casket in the chapel, but once she realized she couldn’t see anything in it, she was fine. (She kept asking me beforehand, “Is the box clear?”)
Grandpa was buried by his first wife and their infant son in a beautiful old cemetery in Savannah. It was right on the river with the moss covered trees everywhere. I wanted to take pictures and wander around the cemetery all day. The picture above does not do it justice! It was gorgeous. And really, that made it nice. The funeral and the burial were so nice. As sad as everyone was, it was still a joyful celebration. We celebrated Grandpa’s life and his legacy. He was a man of God who raised three children to love and honor God as well. All three of his kids are pastors and have given their lives to God’s ministry in the church.
The rest of our time in Savannah was spent hanging out at Grandpa’s house, laughing at old stories, doing each other’s hair, driving around Savannah looking at old churches, old homes and places of family history. It was really a family celebration. And the kids loved sitting right next to each other in the van while we all rode together through Savannah. And yes, those are Crocs on their ears.
Amanda, I’ve been a bit sporadic with social media lately and I’m so sorry I missed this news and wasn’t able to send my support last week. Sending lots of hugs now and wishing your family peace. xoxo Christine
You’re so sweet, Christine! Thank you!
I’m very sorry for your families loss. Our deepest condolences.
Thank you, PJ!
Well, you know, Crocs are the best for phones/earmuffs/head gear! LOL
Bless Lydia’s heart! I may one day use that peanut analogy (although I hope it will be a long time before I have to).
My son, Andrew, was 4 when my grandmother died. I was crying (I was on the phone with my sister, who was in the room with her as she died) and Andrew came in and said, “Why are you crying? You should be happy – she’s in heaven with Pawpaw now!” He’d never met Pawpaw yet he truly got it.
Hugs to all of you!
How sweet! I think that’s why Lydia had such a hard time. She knows that when you die you’re in Heaven. There’s no question for her. So, the whole body thing was freaking her out! Thanks, Janna!
Thank you for sharing this very sweet and heartfelt experience you’ve had. We talk a lot with our children about the idea of a hand & glove in terms of spirit (hand) and glove (body), but a peanut works just as well. 🙂
And by the way – what are Crocs for, right? 🙂
Oh, a glove is a good one, too! After thinking about it more there are lots of good examples…it just had never crossed my mind to even think about them!
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Very sweet post.
My condolences for your loss.
What a great analogy with the peanut. I thoughtful way to relate loss to a child!
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing the analogy about the peanut as my boy’s grandma was diagnosed with aggressive brain cancer and we may be facing her loss very soon. My son is only two but if he questions things I’ll be able to use that. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Praying for you and your family!
My little sister went through an experience like that when my grandmother passed away in ’09. She was happy go lucky, and remarkably unaffected. I was really surprised she was handling it as well as she was, but Mom pointed out that everyone handles grief in their own way.
But during the funeral, when we walked up to say our goodbyes, and she saw Grandmother in the casket, it suddenly hit her what being dead really meant. And she cried, and cried. She was completely inconsolable for about the next half hour, and it was so sad. I’ll be praying for y’all…I still remember that feeling. I still have days where I think of something I want to tell her, and it hurts all over again. It hit when I got married, and it hit when Bunny was born. So my prayers are definitely with your family.
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