I recently found out that a pastor I have admired since I was a teenager has fallen in a terrible and very gross way. You hear about pastors and other clergy doing stupid things all the time. And it always makes me upset. But when I heard this news, I literally felt bile rise in my throat.
How? How can someone who has been so profoundly used by God live such a horrible and despicable double life? How can they be willing to give up their families, their reputations and their (dare I say?) souls for such debauchery?
I know the answer. It’s because he’s just a man. He’s just a human. People are people. We’re all sinners. Being a pastor doesn’t make you holy. Being a Christian doesn’t make you unable to sin. My sins are just as great and just as loathsome as these men that lead lives that are completely opposite of the very things they preach about. Sin is sin and every bit of it separates us from God.
But there is something so frightening about a sin you hide. There is something so scary about a person who actively looks for ways to satisfy selfish appetites. When my husband and I were talking about this pastor I got tears in my eyes and said, “I will never–EVER–do what he did.” My husband stopped what he was doing and looked at me right in the eyes and said, “I won’t either.”
But it got me thinking. I’m sure that pastor said the same thing. I’m sure most people who do some crazy selfish thing start off by saying, “I’ll never do that.” So how? How do we get so selfish? How do we get to the point that we are willing to give up everything–EVERYTHING for fleeting pleasure?
You know I’ve been reading The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns. It’s taken me several weeks to listen to it on my morning walks. Every day I get some new idea or revelation to chew on. The section I’m listening to right now is “The Hole In The Church”. Oh, there is so much I’d like to say about this {seriously, it makes my heart constrict just thinking about it} but today when I was listening I just had this connection in my mind.
The whole point of this part of the book is that the church is NOT doing what it is supposed to do. The church is supposed to bring equality to the poor. It is not the government’s job. The church should be light and salt by helping the poor, taking care of widows and orphans and proclaiming freedom to the captives. The church in all reality has lost its saltiness!
I feel like the American church has become so wrapped up in American culture that it does not think like the church should. The way I’ve been feeling lately about my affluence and my underwater life is the same way the church is behaving. Our churches have gotten so wrapped up in buildings and programs and fame and affluence that we’ve forgotten to DO what God asked us to do. We’ve let pastors become celebrities. We’ve let denominations become gospel. We’ve let rituals become…well, rituals. We’ve forgotten to just DO for God. We’ve forgotten to just BE followers of Christ.
What does this have to do with the fallen pastor?
What if our local churches were more focused on the poor? the down-trodden? the unbeliever? Churches that only care about the few inside their buildings are missing out on what God has called them, nay, COMMANDED them to be. Richard Stearns quotes Pastor Morgan Chilulu in Zambia, “A church within its four walls is no church at all.”
Can I repeat that?
“A church within its four walls is NO CHURCH AT ALL.”
I feel like our churches are no longer churches. They are like previews of the gospel. Or fan fiction. Or even perversions of the truth. If pastors and churches were focused on giving to the poor, chasing after that lost sheep and glorifying God and His power, I just have a feeling that there would be less focus on self. Less focus on selfish appetites. Less focus on fleeting pleasure.
I have never ever written a post like this before. When I have braved into theological and church-y waters, I always find it to be rather polarizing. It’s hard because I am a church girl. I’ve always loved God. My degree is Christian Ministries. I am thankful to the local church for being a part of my spiritual journey, for showing me the Body of Christ and for loving me. I don’t want to bash the church so someone who does not know God can say, “See, even church-goers think church is stupid.” That’s not my point.
I’m merely examining my own self, my own life, my own understanding of church. This is honestly another step in my I Want To Be Wilder journey. I want to be a part of the Church that is really the Body of Christ–people that walk and serve and give and believe in the power and the might of God.
What are your thoughts?
Oh my goodness, I think I’ve quoted my Pastor twice on your blogs (iyk) today … sorry, in advance! But I totally agree with you Amanda. My Pastor has taught their kids to say they’re going to the church building. Never church – seems simple & I know we’re always taught that growing up, but a very literal reminder. The complete opposite of the “here’s the church here’s the steeple, open the doors & there’s all the people” – which is completely inaccurate of how the church should live!
Thanks for sharing!!
What a great visual, Mandi! You’re so right! I just don’t want to get stuck inside my 4 walls–of my house or my church!
we are praying hard right now at our fellowship about the Church functioning as it is supposed to – the Church (with a capital C) is the body of Christ – being built together by and of believers everywhere, preparing to be the bride of Christ. Trying to make it something else is dangerous. As the body of Christ, we are to press into Him as our head and allow Him to lead us – to serve others, reaching out and sharing the Gospel, showing the life of Christ in us to all.
Unfortunately, the Church is composed of sinners, and the enemy is out to break up the Church. Sinners living in their flesh cannot function as the Church of God should. Sinners living under the blood of Christ can, though. Praise the Lord that he has called us out of the flesh to follow Him!
Keeping the Lord and His Word at the center of our faith is paramount – anything else is disasterous.
All that to say I agree with you – the Body of Christ in America is struggling. Your post is well thought out and well written – thank you for sharing this with us!
I think you are right, but you can also go one step further. Each individual needs to take responsibility as well. While the church does need to do all the things you mentioned, we need to remember that WE are the church. I’m always surprised at how many people don’t even know their neighbors nowadays. How can we expect the church to reach and care for the world if we won’t even reach out to our neighbors? But I’ve gone off point, a little.
You’ve brought up a lot of interesting issues. I don’t know what the particular church is like where the pastor you mentioned preached–who knows if the culture of church were different whether or not he would’ve acted differently. But it definitely couldn’t hurt anything! And there are a lot of wonderful churches who do spend much of their resources looking out the four church walls, but I agree with your overall point.
The only other thing I wanted to add is that I think the danger of sinning as the pastor did (and I have no idea what he did) increases when we deny that we are capable of such a sin. As you said, we are all sinners, and if we don’t stay connected to God in prayer and His word and allow pride or lust or whatever to gradually creep in, we could be just as capable as this man.
Thanks for making me think!
Love this A! Your “saltiness” verse reminds me of a post I wrote about that same thing: http://www.simplystaci.net/2008/01/are-you-tasty.html (Is that tacky to link back to myself?!?!)
Very well said and I felt the same bile as you 🙁
Not tacky! It’s a great read, Stace!
A church that only does work inside its own walls is not a church. Since I have been attending my current church I have realized that I have never been part of a true church before. With a church with a membership of around 1000 members we have over 24 mission trips annually and we also do community outreach weekly in our local area. A church that doesn’t meet the needs of the community and its members is not a church.
My Pastor is the hardest working Pastor I have ever met. He’s out on the front line in the community and requires the members of the church to actually use their gifts and talents for the Lord and to serve others.
Sorry, stepping off my soap box on this. I hate to hear of another pastor falling to the world. I hope it isn’t someone I know. 🙁
I think it is also important to consider Satan’s role here. Our pastor said just a few weeks ago that he never felt spiritual warfare as strong as he did after answering the call to full-time ministry. Satan wants us all to fall, but certainly he delights especially in the fall of a Christian leader. I’m not saying your minister shouldn’t be held accountable for his actions; quite the contrary. Our spiritual leaders are to be held to a higher standard than those they shepherd. I just believe that the answer to what makes a man so selfish begins with Satan.
The other day a close friend asked how our pastor came to the church and it stirred up a lot of old memories about different leaders (yes, that is leaderS plural unfortunately) that have fallen in BIG and “gross” ways. The forgiveness issue is hard for me, but I am learning. Sorry to hear that this has happened. I hope that you will just continue to use it as a way to strengthen you in your relationship with Christ and allow his spirit to comfort you.
Are you & my husband sharing a brain?! Srsly, I just read your post out loud to him (on date night, no less)! Its exactly what he’s been saying for months! Needless to say, he’ll be ordering that book!
This is a wonderful post! Very well put. I love love love what Gods doing with you!
I think this is another reminder that the church is full of sinful people and we need to stop acting like we’re better than the rest of the world. It seems to me that so many of us get involved in the church, secure our own salvation, and then stay within the 4 walls so that we never have to go out into the world where things get a little uncomfortable. We forget that we are just like them, except that we’re covered with the grace of Jesus that the world is desperate for! I say all of this as one of the most guilty ones. This post is so true and so timely. I will be sending the link to my pastor, who I think will say “Amen, sister!” You may even get a shout out in an upcoming sermon. I’ll let you know 🙂
On July 4th we were having the “gosh why isn’t the evil Democratic government taking care of everyone?” conversation. (Sorry. When church mixes with politics it can make me kind of testy.)
We did end up discussing the same thing–really, the government SHOULDN’T be taking care of God’s people. WE SHOULD. Unfortunately, even most people in my class don’t seem to connect that with actually going out and doing. Praying is awesome and if that is all we can really do, great. But I believe God calls us to action as well. We need to each assess what we are REALLY doing for the Kingdom.
Jessie
I think this is why I know so many generous, spiritual people who don’t identify with a particular church. There’s a certain slick image and politicism I’ve experienced in many churches that is quite alienating.
Preach it, sister!! Amen and amen.
amen sister! don’t get me started on my frustrations on the American church and how self-absorbed we all are and how far from the Gospel we have become.
Great post Amanda. Our church just did a series based on that book. Great reminder that the people need to not just go to church, they need to BE the church.
Amanda, I think this is so right on the money. I just finished reading Pagan Christianity by Frank Viola and I really think you would dig it. It’s basically about how the church has deviated so far from it’s original purpose and roots and how most of the things we consider “holy” were just picked up from surrounding (pagan) cultures. Oh, it is so eye opening and crazy good. Check it out.
Amanda, I wish we could sit down on a comfy couch and talk about this. I have been reading and learning and realizing (and unlearning and relearning and realizing again) so much over the past couple of years – about God, about the church, about myself. It’s just…so much…and so different…and so hard.
I guess what I’m saying is that I’ve had some of the same thoughts you’re sharing here, but I don’t know what to do with them. That’s the hard part. 🙂
About the pastor who’s fallen into sin, I’m so sorry to hear about that. I hope you can keep it all in perspective and forgive him even as you learn from the situation. (And of course that’s all easier said than done, because the Lord knows I have a major issue with forgiveness!)
Wow. This is exactly word for word what God has been showing me lately! And I’m reading The Hole in Our Gospel right now, too! My heart has been so broken. I know that the Church was made to be so much more and it begins with us, because as one commenter so aptly stated, WE are the Church.
I’m right there with you…this is a big reason we left our church last year.
As for your pastor, I agree, they are no different and probably even more attacked by Satan. One thing that God has been dealing with me in is the fact that is IS Satan and not the person. He is always scheming and he is the one we should direct our loathing at. We should compassionate towards the person. I think the phrase Love the sinner, hate the sin should be changes to Love the sinner, hate Satan!
I read this this morning and and amazed at how applicable this is:
http://blogs.lifeway.com/blog/small-group-training/2010/07/a-candid-conversation-with-a-mega-church-pastor-who-didnt-affair-proof-his-marriage-ii.html
Wonderful post!! I need to sit and chew on it. I agree with so much of what you’ve written…but I’m not sure where to go with it from here.
Thank you.
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