I started reading Shepherding a Child’s Heart
I’ve been mulling over one main point for a few days. I think I’m going to quote some of it. Ready to read?
You make a grave mistake if you conclude that childrearing is nothing more than providing the best possible shaping influences for your children. Many Christian parents adopt this “Christian determinism”. They figure that if they can protect and shelter him well enough, if they can always be positive with him, if they an send him to Christian schools or they can home school, if they can provide the best possible childhood experience, then their child will turn out okay. (emphasis mine)
Uhm. Guilty on all counts! From the time you get pregnant and pick up a parenting/pregnancy/kids magazine, you are told all the RIGHT things to do. And you feel like everything is an “if…then” statement. “If I breastfeed, they won’t have allergies.” “If I wear her in a sling, she won’t cry.” And as a Christian parent, “If I read her Bible stories and make her watch Christian TV shows, she’ll turn out right.”
The problem with these thoughts is that KIDS ARE PEOPLE, too! When we discipline our kids respond…not as we want, but as their heart leads them. I’m not suggesting that kids are static beings and however they are wired is how they are wired, the end, too bad for you.
According to Trent, “your son or daughter responds according to the Godward focus of his or her life…your children are responsible for the way they respond to your parenting.” Just doing the “right” things doesn’t make good kids…God’s Spirit on the inside of them is what makes them turn out right.
This alternately terrifies and encourages me! I’m terrified because ACK! I have to leave the eternal salvation of my children up to…MY CHILDREN?! It’s almost humorous to say, but that’s how it feels. I KNOW what they need, Who they need and how and when they should respond. You mean, I may do it all “right” and my kids may NOT follow the Lord?!
One of my favorite things at church is baptism. Before each baptism, there is a short video about the person getting baptized–they tell their background, their journey to God and finally say, “Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior!” I could watch their stories all day long. But it saddens me, too because almost every adult says, “I was raised in a loving Christian home.” Then they went to college, experienced a tragedy or married the wrong guy…or whatever led them away from God. And they spend years running from and ignoring God. How could their family been a loving Christian home and they turn out so WRONG?! (I’m using hyperbole here.)
It’s because the focus of their life–as a child and teen was not Godward. Their parents may have brought them to church, they may have prayed over meals and even done a family devotion. But for whatever reason, they didn’t have a Godward focus. And THEY chose–outside of their parents good intentions to pursue their own agendas.
I said this frightens AND encourages me. How can it encourage me, you ask? Well, it encourages me because it shifts my focus. I can easily get caught up in memorizing a scripture, making a Bible craft, watching a Christian show, reading a Bible story that I forget this parenting gig is NOT about ME. It’s about my children. I’m God’s agent right now. I get to introduce my children to Jesus in their formative years. I’m not trying to check off a list of things to do, or a filling in a formula.
Hopefully, I’m crafting a life that honors God. A life that is focused Godward. Hopefully, I’m living it every minute of the day. The real true things that will give my kids a Godward focus in their life is not a craft, an outing or a story. It’s the example that my husband and I live and the home we craft.
Of course, that can be terrifying, too. But how much more rewarding? We get to experience God’s grace in our lives and then see it at work in their lives, too. Impress Your Kids’ main goal is to show you all the little things you can do to focus your children and your family on God. It’s easy for me to get caught up in a cool activity or creative craft when I’m posting. I pray instead I will use this blog to help me (and you) focus our homes Godward.
I’ll close with a question from Shepherding a Child’s Heart…it’s the prayer of my heart…
Are you and your spouse spending time in prayer for God to reveal himself to your children? Ultimately God initiates any work in your children’s hearts.
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And here are a few scriptures to study:
Proverbs 29:21 early influences shape a life
Proverbs 4:23 focus is on the heart
Proverbs 9:7-10 wise versus the foolish
Proverbs 22:15 a child’s heart
Proverbs 4:23 importance of the heart
wow – thank you for sharing this! It is so easy to get caught up with all the little stuff, and all the ways I want to control what influences the boys… but it is God who works on their hearts! Thank you for the reminder!
This post really touched my heart and spoke to me as we are battling the things that the kids are learning on the playground in the public school. I need to remember to Proverbs 4:23. Thank you for this post.