Yay! It’s my very first guest-blogger! Jessie, from Vanderbilt Wife, one of my very bbb is here today. She is an incredibly genuine, transparent, articulate, funny, creative, intelligent woman who blogs with obvious love for her family, for God and for good grammar. Please give her lots of love and don’t forget to visit her own bloggy home, Vanderbilt Wife!
Yesterday, I worked an eight-hour day, complete with a video shoot. I picked up the baby from daycare, took her to Target, came home, warmed up dinner, fed us all, played with her on the floor, made banana bread while holding the baby, nursed twice, put her to bed, washed, dried, stuffed, and folded 17 cloth diapers, picked up the kitchen, washed dishes, paid bills, and spent a little quality time with my husband.
If I think about it too hard, I start to panic a little. Most days, I feel like a complete basket case, one tantrum away from a mental breakdown.
Eight and a half months ago, I had no idea what was in store for me. And while it’s a crazy life, it’s what I’ve learned to be used to at this time.
I’ve had several people tell me they admire me, can’t believe how I do it all: work full-time, go to church, be a mother, be there for my husband, cook. It always makes me laugh because I feel so un-put-together most all of the time. But the answer is, really, that’s all I do.
Right now, I don’t volunteer. I don’t take Libbie much of anywhere unless I have to. My husband and I have had a sum total of one date since we’ve had her (not that I’m proud of that fact). I don’t clean unless I have to (which is unfortunately a lot, with a house on the market). I only do what I know I can do well and enjoy: mother, be a wife, blog, cook, and be with Jesus. For me, those are the bare minimums.
It’s different being a working mom in a blog world full of SAHMs. Some days I grow weepy thinking about how I’m not there for my daughter enough. Some days I am grateful to have someone to hand her off to, someone else to deal with the whining and continual rescuing of the pacifier. I’m confronted every day with a blogosphere of women who have the time to do the simple things I long to do: go to the zoo; take a picnic lunch to a park; heck, even go to the grocery store not during the after-work rush.
And yet, now that I’m approaching a time where it is going to be possible for me to join the ranks of the SAHM army, I’m hesitant. First of all, I feel loyal to my fellow work-outside-the-home mommy bloggers. Will I let them down by stepping out from the workforce?
But secondly and more pressing, can I do it? Can I not go to work every day, leaving my babe in the hands of someone much more experienced and knowledgeable than I? What if I hate being at home? What if I don’t know how to be a mom for more than two hours a day and weekends?
Being a mother is hard, period. I’ve found my best method of mothering is accepting where I am, who I am, and being OK with it. I guess that applies to this working-not-working situation as well.
The line of products I edit stresses the importance of Christian community. For me, it’s been such a blessing to have a whole community of mommy bloggers to ask for advice, no matter the situation. I’m proud to call OhAmanda my best blogging friend. 🙂 And as I enter this next phase, I’m relieved I’ll have “the troops” of SAHMs to help guide me a little on my way.
So, what’s your advice? Anyone make that transition from working outside the home to being a SAHM? Do you feel excluded in any part of the blogosphere?
Jessie has blogged for three years at VanderbiltWife.com, where she talks about being the worst housekeeper in the world, a full-time working mom, a wife, a daughter of God, and a foodie-wannabe. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband and eight-month-old daughter, Libbie.