Yes. I’m going to post about unmedicated childbirth. This subject could be as highly debated as formula versus breastfeeding. But I have to talk about it. I need some input, please. (Sorry to all you non-mothers, men and people generally grossed out by childbirth and things of that sort. Feel free to skip this post and go back to yesterday’s…you could win a prize!)
When I had Lydia I was a first time mom and just did exactly what my doctor said. I had the epidural, the episiotomy and all the monitors and meds they told me to take. I don’t regret her birth. I don’t think anything bad happened to her. I think it was the most wonderful day of my life!
I just remember right before getting the epidural, I thought, “I wonder if this pain is really bad? I wonder if I could make it longer? What if it’s not really as bad as it gets?”
Looking back, I wonder if Lydia would have been born sooner without the epidural. After all, I was falling asleep during pushes. I couldn’t feel a thing so I had no idea what was going on inside me. I wonder if they wouldn’t have had to use forceps on Lydia’s head if I had not been laying on my back and gravity could have helped out a little. I wonder if my doctor, who was sick, just wanted to get out of there?
So, this time around I’ve been doing a little research. And honestly, it’s frightening.
I totally believe God made my body to know what to do. I know there are women RIGHT NOW in some other part of the world who are stopping in the middle of their work day to deliver their baby alone. They’ll get up tomorrow (or even later today) with that babe on their back and keep working.
HOWEVER. I live in the United States in 2008. I don’t have to do that. Just because it happens doesn’t mean I should do it.
HOWEVER. If they can do it, why can’t I? Are they more heroic than me? More able? Stronger? More educated?
I doubt it. In fact, I’m guessing the only thing that’s different is our experience. My experience has only been to see women go to the hospital and get an epidural. Unless they are on TV, then they scream and contort their faces and yell at their husbands. The mom in the other country has only seen women deliver their babies at home or wherever they are.
This same thing is true for almost everything. If you didn’t have friends or family around you that breastfed, or worked outside the home or spanked their kids, you’re probably not going to do it either.
SO. All I need to do is become more educated. Hear stories from other mamas and childbirth specialists who have had great natural experiences.
WELL. I did that. I’ve been reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. The first half of the book is just stories of natural childbirths. And it’s making me feel worse. There’s just so much out-of-control-ness to it. (And sometimes some freaky-out-there-ness that makes me feel weird.) I don’t doubt I can do it. I can do anything if I have to. I just doubt if I’m willing to…
I know I won’t like people waiting around on me. I won’t like the doctors and nurses wishing I was taking the epidural or doing what they want. I’m a people pleaser who doesn’t like making waves. And being in the center of attention while in pain will not make me feel comfortable.
HOWEVER. I think I’ll be a little disappointed with myself if I don’t try it natural. When I hear about the good experiences from some of my friends, it makes me want to experience it. And just knowing the dangers and the un-natural-ness of medicated childbirth makes me lean towards unmedicated even more.
SO. Here’s what I really want…
I’d love to find out I’m in labor at home. I’d love to be in pain here. Then when it gets close to delivery, go to the hospital. I don’t want to deliver in my home. (Maybe if I didn’t live in the Ukranian-wonder…) I want some sterility and doctors and nurses and the ability to help during an emergency. I’d like for the doctors to see me and say, “OK, it’s time to push!” And my little pirate come out just as fast as he can. And if this could all be under 2 hours, I’d also appreciate it. HA!
Here’s what I don’t want…
Going to my 39 week appointment and hearing my doctor (who I’ve only met once or twice) say, “Oh, why don’t you stay the night? We’ll monitor you and then induce you in the morning.” Then in the morning say, “Oh, you’re one centimeter.” And five hours later I’ve still barely progressed. And once they give me the epidural, I don’t want to be sitting on the bed, not allowed to eat wondering what my baby is doing inside me. Then when they deem it necessary, I get to push, totally disconnected from knowing what’s going on on the bottom half of me.
And I don’t want…
To demand natural childbirth while the nurses are rolling their eyes at me or making remarks about what I *should* be doing. Then cave and get the epidural while everyone says, “Good girl!”
So, what’s your experience? Am I over thinking it? Should I just go with the flow? I’m very interested in what you have to say.
UPDATE: I did it! Read my ALL NATURAL birth story! 🙂
I applaud any woman who can have a natural birth. But it’s not for me, I don’t like the pain, lol. When I had Emily, it was a total of 10 1/2 hours. I went with the contractions as long as I could handle it. I was 5 1/2 centimeters before they gave me the epidural. Once I had that, I totally relaxed & even dozed off for an hour before the fun began. I felt nothing when it was time to deliver. It was all so easy.
Not so much with Olivia. I had contractions on & off for a week before she was born. My last appointment, the doctor scheduled an induction, because I was just plain miserable. I had already planned to have the epidural again. The morning of the induction, I woke up with contractions again. I was so use to them at that point. Got to the hospital around 7:30, didn’t get a room til after 9. They let me try to progress, on my own, for a few hours. Then they tried the pitocin, but Olivia didn’t tolerate it. I still hadn’t had the epidural yet & the contractions weren’t that bad. Eventually they tried to break my water. After 20 mins, they decided to give me the epidural first, because them trying to break my water, was a lot more painful than the contractions! Got the epi, broke my water, still nothing! Ultimately, around 11 that night my epi started wearing off in the most important part. They couldn’t get it adjusted to numb that area. So I ended up feeling every contraction and Olivia coming out. It was painful. And even though it failed this time, I remember how it felt the first time I had the epi. If I was able to have another baby, I would try for the epi again.
It’s definitely not an easy position. And in my opinion, if you decide to try for a natural birth, but end up taking the epi, you have not failed. You did what was the best for you.
I’ll be praying that whichever direction you go, it’s easy & fast!
What a way to lure me out of my post- vacation bloggy lurkdom 🙂
Your second “what you don’t want” was exactly my biggest fear when I was pg with Bea. I knew I could do natural childbirth, but in Scotland it was more the norm, and I hated the thought of doing it here with everyone thinking I had some need to be a martyr or something and just wishing I would do what “everyone else” does.
God was so gracious: I was sent home because my contractions stalled *six* hours before she was born, and I was so determined not to similarly embarrass myself that I stayed home until I felt the urge to push *in my living room*. We made it to the hospital, and she was born 20 minutes later. I got exactly the birth I wanted (not even time for the IV) and nobody had a moment to give me any grief about it (except the doctor, who seemed very put out that no one knew I was about to give birth and he barely made it there in time.)
Armed with that fabulous experience, but wishing my healthcare providers had been more appreciative of the fabulousness of it, I’m going to a birthing center this time.
A midwife *in* a hospital might be the best of both worlds, but it’s not really an option for me (no midwives at the hospital I had Bea at). Maybe that’s an option for you? The comfort of a hospital setting, but a supportive natural childbirth guru at your side? If that’s not possible, maybe you should consider a doula, just to have someone there to support you in the face of sneering healthcare providers. They’ve never seemed like my kind of thing, but when I imagine having someone like KT (isn’r she training to become one? or planning to?) at my side, I can certainly imagine it being a real asset.
Do I win a prize for the longest ever comment on your blog? 😉
ha! I think you and Amy tied…you posted at the exact same time!
I think that you need to make the right decision for you and tell everyone to kiss your big toe. That being said, I had an epidural with my makerdoodle which had mostly worn off during the pushing, so I still felt that part, but missed the transitional pain. I’d do that again.
I also think the whole “women giving birth in the fields” illustration largely ignores the HUGE infant mortality and death during or after childbirth in those cultures.
Just my (mostly inexperienced) two cents worth.
P.S. My sister did the midwife in a hospital with two of her four births, (one was emergency C section, the last a traditional with doctor) and does consider it the best of her experiences.
I always, always thought I wanted an epidural and to be as drugged as possible.
Then I got pregnant!
I am a little fearful because I have a pretty low pain tolerance, and if I feel like I am going to pass out I would let them give me an epidural. But I want so badly to feel the rush of natural high, to be able to breastfeed right away, for baby to be alert…that I am at least going to try for non-medicated. I too am really worried people, especially nurses and such, won’t understand. Most people think I am crazy so I keep it to myself.
But women have been giving birth naturally for thousands of years…there’s no reason why we can’t, right? I have to admit I was already leaning this way heavily and I watched The Business of Being Born and it pretty much cemented it for me. I think I would like to have a hospital birth for my first, but in the future I may do the midwife and water birth path. Even if my husband thinks I am insane!
Every one of my four were different… and I won’t bore you with long descriptions… but with Amanda I went into labor at home, went to the hospital and was sent home went back later and was ready to deliver when I got the epidural. Lots of tearing. Not pretty.
Bailey was induced. It was a freak ice storm which meant pitocin without epidural. I had him natural but induced. It was terrible and painful. I remember saying, “how long til he’s out?” The doctor said two pushes so I did two pushes. BABY. I was up cleaning the room while they were cleaning him up and the family was all out in the hall. Seriously I was hanging up all their coats.
When I was having Emelia I was so freaked out that I would have a repeat of that pain. I begged for an early epidural. She was also induced. At 9 a.m. At 11 I was pushing. She was out in 10 minutes tops. It was the easiest birth ever without any pain to speak of. I felt great and so did she!
Izzy was basically an exact repeat of Emelia’s birth. Even same room. About an hour longer. But easy.
Now the way I hear it, some women just don’t have as much pain with labor. I did. I have a pretty high thresh hold for pain, but it was almost unbearable at times. I know some women who show up and are already a 10 and haven’t felt much. If I was one of those women I would not get an epidural – duh! But, if you are willing to have that needle in your back because the pain is more than your fear of that, then the epidural is needed. I have always said that if men were giving birth they would have come up with something much more effective/pain free… but if I ever were to give birth again, I would definitely have an epidural. As. Early. As. Possible!
ok… I have not given birth (disclaimer).
Several of my friends have gone natural and used hypnobirthing and rave about their experiences. My sister did that (I was at the whole delivery) and labored for about 10hrs and pushed for 2. She was so relaxed (prior to pushing) that we though she might be asleep.
I agree with the earlier comment… you decide what you want to do and let the nurses/doctors ‘kiss your big toe’.
I love that you’re considering no meds and I love that you’re posting so honestly about your feelings either way!
Unmedicated childbirth never even entered my mind. I kind of dig being medicated. As a matter of fact, I asked for my epidural to be administered during my second trimester. 🙂
Only recently did I consider unmedicated childbirth only because it hit me that God kind of made it so that childbirth is painful and shouldn’t I take my punishment? Then I told myself that it wasn’t me buddying up to ol’ Mr. Serpent and I didn’t give Adam that apple…and then my attempt at “considering” an unmedicated birth was gone just as fast as it arrived.
Ok, I’m making light of it, but I think it’s a wonderful thing to do it naturally. I have UBER respect for those that do it.
Also, if I were you, I wouldn’t even let the possibility of the nurses’ impatience or eye-rolling enter into your decision making process. My nurse was quite annoyed with my epidural because I kept making her pick up my leg and move it. It felt to me like it was turned funny, even though I could see visually that it was not. She was definitely rolling her eyes at me. She probably would’ve picked me up by the leg and chunked me clear across the room were it not for the fact that she was a tiny little thing and I was a whale!
I know you’ll get some good comments from gals that have done both medicated and non and that’ll help you decide. But I have complete faith that you’ll do what’s best for you and your li’l pirate!
With Landon I went wanting the drugs, but because I labored rather quickly and went from 2cm-9cm within an hour there was NO time. I would have NEVER EVER thought I could had done it without drugs, but I did. I have ZERO pain tolerance, believe me!
Looking back I’m now happy I did it without because at the time it worked out great. BUT now that it’s time for round 2, I’m seriously considering the Epi. ONLY because I really want to enjoy it more this time. Be more relaxed, you know? Not that I didn’t enjoy my son’s birth it’s just that it was a lot of work and horrible pain. Much screaming, sweat, and endurance. Though the total time it took from braking my water and having him, was only two hours, it was a hard two hours.
The only good thing is after I was done, I felt great, and healed very fast. I even walked to the bathroom right after I had him, so I could pee! I was sore though, but I think we all are drugs or no drugs from the pushing. My only fear is if this time I DO get drugs that I won’t go as fast as I did with Landon.
We shall see when the time nears. I have some time to think about it;)
I’ve given birth “naturally” twice and had an emergency c-section the third time. I absolutely loved giving birth the second time, and I was really looking forward to doing it again, but baby coming feet first FAST doesn’t really bode well for a natural delivery.
Anyway, I debated posting this link, because I’m not spamming you, I promise, but I just this week posted my first daughter’s birth story at Type-A Mom, where I’m the birth editor, and I thought you might want to read it. My upcoming article happens to be on the pros and cons of epidurals versus natural births as well. http://typeamom.net/birth/giving-birth-for-the-first-time-and-preparing-for-the-unexpected.html
My best advice if you want to have a natural birth is to really read about and prepare for it. The Bradley classes are fantastic. And I know some people say you should just leave both options open, but I do think that deciding that I was going to do it made it easier for me because it’s really easy to decide you want an epidural when you’re in the middle of it!
I have really been wanting to post about my birthing stories for quite a while. Your post may just be the impetus I needed…=)
Long story short, I totally identified with what you have been feeling. With my first son, I basically felt like a lab rat. But, even after that feeling, I still didn’t understand that I could take control BACK from the doctors and ‘professionals’ and make my child’s birth the kind of event I wanted it to be. So I had two more children with the help of an epi and a Dr.
Then we had a six year break between child three and four and I learned a lot about natural alternatives, medicine, health and wellness, how our bodies work etc. So for my fourth baby, I opted for a midwife in a hospital setting. I wanted to best of both worlds. With my birthing history, a total home birth was simply not advisable (I had hemmorraged two out of three times), and I wanted to security of knowing that if something went wrong, I was already in the hospital or if I couldn’t take the pain, I had the option for the epi.
My fourth baby ended up being delivered C-section because she was breech and wouldn’t drop or turn (no matter WHAT I tried), so it was very emotional for me. I had lined up a doula to work with me, my husband and our midwife and had carefully laid out a birthing plan …I went from the least invasive delivery with me having the most control to the most invasive with no control at all.
All this to say, if you don’t already have a midwife, consider seeing if your practice partners with some and start seeing them. Look into finding a doula. Their role is just to help support you and your husband as you go through the birthing process. They have a bag of tricks to help you deal with the pain as naturally as possible and can also act as a mediator between you and the ‘eye rolling’ nurses to help your wishes get implemented. They are with you through the entire labor, not just the delivery.
Map out a birthing plan. You can find forms online. Go over it with your husband, your doctor, your doula…anyone involved in the delivery and birth. you want them all informed AHEAD of time what exactly your wishes are. It’s hard to think about that stuff in the throes of contractions.
Mostly, know that you can take control back. Even a hospital birth can be what YOU want it to be…right down to whether or not you have an IV or are allowed to eat (who made THAT up?!). Just go over that kind of stuff with your doctor and INSIST on the kind of treatment YOU would like to receive.
Ok…stepping down off my soapbox. =)
Best of luck, however you decide to proceed. A baby is a true blessing, no matter how they come into the world!
Oh, Amanda! I don’t even know how to say what I want to tell you… There are so many opinions on what is “right” out there – but I believe what is “right” is different for each person. Personally, I think you should go with the flow. Perhaps go into it wanting to do a natural childbirth, but if it doesn’t feel right or if you chance your mind, feel free to do that.
My biggest thing for baby #1 was my mindset. I SO SO SO wanted a natural childbirth, anything else would’ve felt like a failure to me. God knocked me down real quick – wait, no, He took it nice and slow… 40 hours of labor to be exact, ending at only 4 cm dialated and an emergency c-section. I felt like a failure (not to even mention the fact that I cannot breastfeed! double whammy!) But I am starting to see that God is dealing with my issues of pride, and I truly would’ve had problems with my pride in that area if I had been able to do a natural childbirth.
Baby #2 – I read up on v-bacs, and prayed about trying to have a natural childbirth. But Josh and I both agreed I would have a repeat c (gasp! horror of horrors! 😉 ). It was the best birth experience I could imagine. While I am know others have amazing experiences with natural birth, my experiences were what God wanted me to have.
Your 2nd time, no matter what you choose, will be exactly as God has prepared it for you.
I took the epidural with my first child because — being a first time mommy and not really knowing what to expect — the doctor and nurses were telling me that generally with first babies it is at least 24 hours labor etc. I was vomiting a lot with my contractions. When I was at the right point they asked if I was ready for the epidural, I said yes, because I did not want to be vomitting for another 20+ hours. It turns out the baby came along just a few hours later. BUT with my 3rd baby I opted out of the epi. The contractions were intense and painful, but never to a point that I would say it was too much to deal with. I also think that they are more tolerable when you know a very special thing will be coming of it in the end. I felt so much better after the delivery without having the epidural and am sad I did not deliver all my babies that way. The nurses actually didn’t roll their eyes, I must have been a lucky one. They said if I changed my mind to let them know. But these nurses also did not believe me when I said the baby was coming. They told me I was much too calm for the baby to be coming. I shocked them all by being right. They disbelieved me so much that they ended up delivering the baby because they didn’t page my doctor when I told them to! My point of saying that is that you can’t allow them to bully you because only YOU know your body and YOU know what you want.
I had three C-sections, so I am not sure I am the best person to be leaving an opinion/comment. However, I cannot resist!
With my first son, who was breech so a C-section was necessary, I felt kind of left out of the “club” b/c I hadn’t experienced labor, etc, etc.
Then it was highly recommended to me that I have each subsequent birthing experience as C-sections b/c of complications. So, I did. And I felt comfortable doing what I already knew. I still felt kinda left out until I experienced several hours of labor with my last pregnancy.
No one believed me that I was actually in labor. None of the residents, none of the nurses. They all kinda looked at me as if I were nutty and were sorry they had called in my doc.
And then a nurse checked me (finally) and went running out of the room “Oh my Gosh! Somebody get in here, this woman is gonna have a baby!”
So, I know what you mean when you are reluctant to have the staff roll their eyes or wonder why you don’t just do it the “easy” way or the way they would do it.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if didn’t have to have C-sections, I would have chosen drugs. The few hours of labor I did experience were horrifically painful. I don’t feel less of a woman or a mother. Nor do I feel as if I cheated.
Having said that, ask yourself if in 10 years this will matter to you. If not, don’t spend so much time worrying about it. Do what you know and what has worked for you in the past.
I can tell you from my experience that my natural birth was much less painful than my two other births where I was given some pain meds. I had a birth plan that the nurses respected and thanked me for- they wished more Moms would have a birth plan to help the staff understand their wishes.
There are reasons your body feels the sensations and pain you might feel during labor- it’s telling you something and helps you. When you mask it with the medication on top of the unnatural surroundings of a hospital, it can send mixed signals to your brain and body. So labor will more likely be longer and possibly more painful even if you had pain meds. Not to mention the after-effects of those medications on your baby. It’s not just about Mom having this wonderful experience but we have to remember what passes on to baby.
I would put on the mindset that the hospital staff will support you in your decision to try no medication. Think positively and hopefully it will be true. My experience was quite pleasant! I definitely recommend having a birthplan ready and talking it over with the nurses as soon as you get there.
You are doing a great job reading up and being informed. My best advice is to not allow yourself to get into fear- once you get scared or nervous, the pain comes much more stronger. If you can stay in control and surrender to what your body is feeling, it feels SO much better. And goes so much faster! Also breathing techniques such as the Bradley method or Lamaze (that helped me) do wonders with helping you maintain your focus!
Stephanie
I’d hire a doula. She can advocate for you according to YOUR wishes in the delivery room and even if you desire to go medicated after awhile she can still be a huge source of support. If it were up to me, I’d go as far in labor as I could without medication, then get pain relief if I absolutely couldn’t stand it anymore.
Oh my goodness, this post is so similar to what I am going through myself, I understand. I had an epidural with Lance and I would love to go natural this time around because part of me feels like I failed (also had complications from epidural). I understand about how there is pressure to get the epidural, my doctor initially sent me to the hospital to get an epidural and relax (his words), the doctor at the hospital would not break my water until I had an epidural, and the nurses didn’t give me a lot of support or options other then the epidural. I tried natural as long as I could with Lance, but after laboring in the hospital for six hours as well not having any sleep the night before I was losing control and at my end (I had five minute long contractions- I was wishing I had the 90 second to 2 minute ones they tell you about in lamaze, but no such luck). I am anxious about this upcoming birth (in around 30 days) especially since I don’t want to be induced and would love to go natural, but I know that for me, time is a huge factor, my labor with lance was 24 hours long and hopefully this time will be less and I will be able to go med free because women in Africa do it all the time (that is what I try to focus on when thinking about labor). Good luck sorting through everything and the most important thing is to keep your options open.
I think you should follow your instincts. You know what you can handle. Many blessings….
I’ve learned so much by reading some amazing birth stories since Ladybug was born 13 months ago. If I had to do things all over again, I would go with a midwife and a birthing center. I’d love a water birth.
But I’m not that brave. Not brave enough to go thru the emotions of another pregnancy and the fear of losing another child. I just can’t face that fear.
I don’t think any less of myself for not being able to face that fear, and maybe I wouldn’t be as brave if we were to have another child. But we’re not, and I can’t.
I would love to experience a truly natural childbirth. I don’t regret having 2 c-sections. But I’d like to have that experience.
I feel like I’m rambling. I’ll quit while I’m ahead.
I’ll talk to you about it more in person tomorrow night. 🙂 I’ve done it both ways and am glad I did. I preferred the epidural way, but I did wait as long as I could on the pitocin before I got the epidural, so I don’t feel that it slowed me down all that much…
Just remember – this isn’t a contest. The point is for you to have a healthy pirate, not worry about what other women think and what they “can do”.
That being said, I’ve given birth three times and had three very different births. My water broke when I was at home for my first (5 weeks early). I went straight to the hospital, got my epidural (which didn’t work very well) and felt the epsiotiomy 5 hours later. It was horrid.
I was scared to death with my second Caterpillar, and was in another country away from my friends and family. I labored at home for 12 hours (again, 5 weeks early), and barely made it to the hospital. I was so frightened I MADE them give me an epidural before I would let them check me (if I had been further than 8cm – they had said I wouldn’t get one). I had the best doctor and nurse and CW was such an easy birth.
In 2005 I was a surrogate mother and had a baby girl for friends of mine. It was an induced labor at 38 weeks, so I was hooked up to all sorts of fun machines and medicines. It was the easiest birth yet, but I think because I knew my body better and trusted it.
Women in other parts of the world are taught from a VERY young age what their bodies are expected to do. While here, in the US, we are bombarded with commercials telling us that we need to take pills every month during our periods! A woman in Africa who is giving birth is surrounded by her female friends and family, and she’s been experiencing the birthing room since she was between 7 and 10 years of age.
You’re not a failure for following your culture, rather than what your body was originally taught to do. And you should feel the freedom to try for an unmedicated birth – if you choose, and request medical help if you end up feeling it is neccessary.
Because the point is a healthy pirate! 😀
Amanda you have to do what you feel is right. The most you can do is educate yourself so you are making an informed decision when you are in the moment. I HIGHLY recommend reading Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. You need to learn about the different stages of labor so you know when it is happening to you. The hardest part of labor is transition…it is also the shortest part of labor and it means you will be pushing soon and will get to meet your baby! When I go into transition I actually fall asleep and only wake up for contractions. When I come out of my “trance” I start pushing and boy is that ever a sweet relief! It is SO wonderful to be able to feel the urge to push and to be able to squat or get in different positions to help the baby come out. Gravity is a good thing and lying flat on your back…even angled upwards with your feet in stirrups doesn’t help the baby descend through the birth canal. There are just so many things that can go wrong when you start to add drugs into your system. It could lead to a spiral effect. BUT at the same time there could be no complications and the drugs could relax you enough to actually speed up labor. It is just one of those decisions you need to decide if the possible benefits outweigh the possible side effects. If you are even considering natural childbirth I would hire a doula. If I lived closer I would totally be there for you! A doula will be your advocate and she will absolutly NOT force you into natural childbirth. If you decide to go with the epi the doula will still be there for you to assist you but she will help you recognize the stages of labor and help you to get through the pain.
If you have ANY questions just ask!
I have birthed three children.
First was supposed to involve an epidural, but didn’t. I progressed faster than anyone thought.
Second I figured I did it once without so why bother.
Third was slow to progress, pitocin with epidural.
Obviously, the third was completely different, it felt so medical. IV’s here and there. It is hard to say which one I prefered as in the end I had three healthy babies. But the medicinal feel of the third made me feel a little out of control.
You are absolutely correct that your body knows what it needs to do. You are also wise to be at the hospital should anything go awry.
I loved being pregnant and delivering babies and I love sharing my experiences!
Great topic! Kennestone actually offers a FREE class entitled “Everything you wanted to know about epidurals,” as well as a bunch of other classes. Some are free and some are like $25. Josh and I went to several, including the epi one, and even though I got lightheaded when the doctor was talking about where the needle goes and all that, it was very helpful. With Olivia the doctor told me at 4cm just to let him know when I was ready for it (I had already told him I wanted it), but I told him I wanted to try to wait it out another cm or two. He said, “Stephanie, you don’t get points for pain.” Enough said (for me).
From what I recall from the class and from some reading I did about it, studies show that epidurals do not prolong the birth, and in some cases actually progress it (this happened to my sister-in-law – she didn’t progress until AFTER she had the epidural).
It’s up to you, ultimately, so don’t sweat it and do what feels right.
I need to preface this by saying that I’ve never given birth. These are just my own thoughts…delusional as they may be 🙂
I hate that this seems like a contest. That if you go natural, you’re a winner but if you get an epi., you’re a loser. In reading all these posts, the one thing I noticed was that EVERYONE’S experience was completely different!! Which tells me you need to do what YOU want to do. Comparing others’ experiences wouldn’t really make it any clearer for me.
Both will give you a beautiful new son in teh end!! I like what Stephanie’s doctor said: “You don’t get points for pain”. What about taking asprin for a headache? [Please hear me, I am in NO way comparing a headache to childbirth!!!!] Is it not kinda like the same idea? I understand not wanting to pump a bunch of medicine into your body, but God gifted someone to invent a medicine to ease your pain.
I also like what Jubilee said: “Will this matter to you in 10 years?”
I’m sure this will be a hot topic tomorrow nite at the “Chinese-Knitting-Wii” party.
Whatever you choose, I can’t wait to see that little buddy!!
I’ll be praying for you as you deal with this decision, Amanda. I had an epi with my first and went in ready to have one with my second, but there wasn’t time. I came close to calling my dr. a liar when he told me that a few pushed and #2 would be out, as I had pushed for about 2.5 hours with #1, but he was right! Recovery was much easier, but I am not sure it that was because of the epi or the prolonged pushing! Ultimately, YOU know what is best for you. I don’t know what I would do if I had another. Blessings on your sweet soul no matter what you decide!!
Wow, what a boat load of comments! Maybe I otta try something like this to get people to come out and comment! 😉
As you know, I have three kids. My first two I was able to have a ‘hapidural’. But my third happened too quickly for me to get one in time (that and we were at a small city hospital and the hapidural person, there was only one!, was out in another part of the county!!!). So, with #3 I was only able to get something to ‘take the edge off’. It put me to sleep and I was so out of it when Isabel was born that all I wanted to do was sleep after she arrived. Evidently, she had breathing issues and had to have assistance, again I was out of it and was unable to conjure up a freak out over it. All I could do was offer up a puny little prayer that the Lord would take care of her while laid back to get some rest.
With my first I had thought I’d go the minimal route and try to do it without the epidural. My pain took over and I got sick! I asked for something to take the edge off, and the nurses said that was fine but that it would most likely wear off before I had to start pushing. I was having none of that so I went with the epidural. Although I had the epi I could still feel pain when it came time to push and was able to know when to push. I had no issues with not being able to get up and walk around, I didn’t want too! Oh, and the hospital for #1 and #2 was open to letting me eat or do my birth however I wanted. May the Lord bless them! 🙂
With #2 I got the epidural just in time! Although I did not know when to push and felt nary a thing.
If I was going to go a forth round (please Lord, have mercy, no more kids!) I would totally go for the epidural. I was fully awake and aware of what was going on, especially after the baby was born. I did not like that I was so out of it with #3. So, for me, I’d stick with the ‘hapidural’ for more than one reason.
I hope and pray that you and your husband are able to make a plan that your happy with and that you can work together to see it through (regardless of the sinister stares of the hospital staff). 🙂
I think you’d probably like a midwife better than a doctor. They typically deliver in hospitals but do whatever the mother wants to do. Mine told me once that about 90% of her patients end up getting an epi in the end. But for the ones gung-ho on not getting it, she’s there from start to finish, the best support-system in the world. I’ve been really thankful and blessed by the relationship I have with her; she knows me. She’s not just there to catch a baby and leave. And, like I said, she lets me be in control.
I had a great experience with my labor and delivery with the exception of pushing for so long. But during the pushing I was very in tune with my body and always knew when I was having a contraction. It didn’t hurt, but I felt the pressure. So, it was nice knowing. Natural childbirth is not for me either. The mild contractions I did have, I did not like. And would not want to experience more. I loved my doctor BUT I think that a midwife would have been great for the pushing deal. My sister used midwives(but also got epidurals) and she said they they do a lot of massaging and wait until the very last minute for you to push. Rather than, right when you are 10 centimenters you are ready to go. If that would have happened to me, after I had Parker would have been easier. Although, I hope with this baby it will be much quicker since I have already had one baby. Probably will be the same for you too. I wouldn’t worry about it. Try it if you want, and don’t sweat it if you end up getting an epidural. It doesn’t define you or your baby. 🙂
I have three kids, two of which have been born without medication. One was born at home. My third one I opted for an epidural after eight hours of hard labor and the threat of intervention. I only had the epidural in for twenty minutes before he was born and I don’t regret it at all. It’s important to remember that it is your body and ultimately your decision. As long as your hubby knows what your plan is he should be able to back you up if you are unable to be clear in your decision making, which is totally normal in labor. If you have any doulas or birthing coaches it is great to have a third party who can speak up on your behalf when you are at the hospital. I certainly don’t feel like ‘more’ of a woman for having had medicine free labors, and I don’t have any weird feelings about my third labor/baby. If we have another one, I will go as long as I can without an epidural, but if I have back labor again I’m getting it. Blessings!
Amanda I found your blog through Amber Ferrell. I am coming out of hiding b/c I believe you CAN do natural chilbirth. I have four kiddos and have gone natural all three deliveries. Yeah,I only labored three times b/c I had twins so three and four came at once! For me it was all about the focus and I was afraid of the epidural for the fear of loosing control of my own body. I am not hear to preach I just wanted to say “hey I would do it again and it’s not so bad!!!
Holy comments! Okay I’ll keep it short since you know how I feel about it, but regardless of what you choose just remember it’s about the birth experience you want, and that can change very quickly. With Conner, I was so stubborn about having him naturally and it went FANTASTIC, so glad I did it. This time around, being induced I was terrified, and after trying to labor as naturally as I could for 10 hours and being stuck at a 3 for 6 of those, my experience with Max was beginning to suck. So when we decided to do the epi (esp. since they just started me on pitocin and those contractions HURT!) I was able to swallow my pride b/c the natural experience I wanted again was really not the birth experience I wanted. Having Max with the epi ended up being just as amazing as Conner’s in a different way, a way I honestly thought wouldn’t be possible. I have zero regrets about it. So just go in with an open mind, be ready for any and everything, and don’t be hard on yourself if you feel like you need to change your plans – you don’t want to have a horrible birth experience just because you have set your mind on doing it a certain way.
But I do think you can do – it does hurt, but it’s temporary and the end result is so sweet. You’ll do great!
Just had to say, I have no wisdom. I had to have 2 c-sections.
So.
There.
But-if you do the no medicine thing-you will be a superwoman in my book!!
Ok, short and sweet. My 1st was about 4 hours labor…they gave me fentinal (sp?) and I couldn’t feel the urge to push. They did an episiotomy (DON’T EVER LET THEM DO THAT TO YOU, terrible recovery, ugh).
My 2nd I did natural…about 4 hours labor too. Right as I was getting ready to completely dialate (which I didn’t know) I was ready for the flipping drugs. But I knew that because I wanted them I was close. My daughter was born a few pushes later. I bounced back and recovery was awesome!!!
Go with your gut…it’s a personal thing I think. You do what you feel comfortable with…don’t be afraid to go in with one idea and maybe you change your mind in the middle. YOU are the one who knows where you’re at and what you’re going through.
Trust your instincts Mama!! You will be just fine…. 🙂
Well, you certainly have a lot of info to consider here – here’s my two cents – because I’ve been thinking about it alot recently.
I planned to have my first child naturally in the hospital, but ended up having a c-section. I just posted about this a few days ago if you’d like to read more.
Even though natural didn’t work for me – I am still convinced that it’s very awesome and so worth it if you can do it. The key was to have our OB on board with us, and to have a well thought/written out birth plan. I too was worried about the rolling of the nurses eyes – but discovered that everyone was VERY willing to work with me, and were thankful for my birth plan, and wished more people had them. I think the whole natural birthing concept is more common now, and is more respected in the medical community.
It also helped a ton that we took a natural birthing class (Bradley) and had a support group of people. It was a class where we learned so much, that it totally took away that Out-of-controllness feeling that you were talking about. In fact, I felt so in control based on the knowledge, that with this pregnancy (due in about two weeks) I feel more out of control than with the first. I will say that we had to take some of what was taught with a grain of salt – but the good definitely out weighed that.
However, when your little Pirate’s birthday comes, and if it happens that you need an epi or a c-section, be okay with that. And know that you are awesome and that you did it! I was so set on having Little One naturally that the emotional let-down was really hard to recover from. The primary goal is to have a healthy baby and a healthy momma.
God bless!
Sorry I’m a little late with this comment.
I’ve had 4 children; 3 with drugs and 1 without. From the time my water broke to the time my child was born, my labors lasted the following:
Child 1: 2 hours
Child 2: 5 hours
Child 3: 5 minutes
Child 4: 4 hours
Any guesses as to which one was without the drugs?
When I had my 4th child, I got the epidural during when I was actually going through transition. If I had really put my mind to it, I could have had her naturally. The epidural didn’t really help, and it actually slowed down my labor. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have gotten it and would have had my daughter about and hour sooner.
oh man…we should talk!
Aw thanks for the mention. 🙂 Here’s my advice: Read, read, and read some more. Hire a doula (because I SWEAR it will be worth the extra cost). She will help you labor at home as long as you’re comfortable, and she’ll be there to tell you when it’s a good time to go to the hospital…and make sure you get there before you’re too uncomfortable. She’ll also be there when you’ve reached the point where you’ll say ‘I cant do this anymore!”, and she’ll whisper “YES, you can!”. Sometimes all it takes is someone else having faith in you when you’re in the moment. Doula’s can still be there even if you get an epi.
I KNOW you can do this. 🙂
So read, make your mental plan, tell everyone involved what you want, and then LET IT GO. Relax. If it happens, great. If not, okay too. God will know what you want, and as as long as you do the work, he will give you what you’re supposed to experience…kwim?
XO Whatever happens, I cant wait to hear about it!
I had three of my four children unmedicated. Each birth was totally different. Good luck with your decision.
If you are really serious about natural child birth look into Hypnobirthing. I was so freaked out about the pain but did not want to be confined to the bed all day with the epi. I found an instructor in my area and went to private classes with my husband and it helped me not be so nervous. I can’t say I did it all with out meds. About 15 hrs into it I asked for a shot of something and I think they gave me morphine. But they teach you how to relax and breath and they even give you some cd’s with music and someone talking you through relaxing. It is not being hypnotised at all just learning to put yourself into a hypnotic state with relaxation, kinda like watching a camp fire burn, it is really just being really calm and relaxed. I loved being able to feel when my body wanted to push, I know alot of people who think I am crazy for doing it without an Epi. but it just freeked me out to much not being able to feel the bottom half of my body. http://www.hypnobirthing.com/
Okay my own opinion? Do whatever you need to do to get through it happily and healthily. Yes I delivered all my babies unmedicated but my deliveries are FAST–even had one at home unexpectedly–so I never could have any and never felt like I was to the point of fatigue where I needed to rest. If I’d been in agony for 12 hours you can bet I would be demanding whatever they could give me.
No shame in taking drugs to get thorugh it if you have to, and it’s fine to go au natural if you feel that’s best too. I guess that may not really help you much to be so “do whatever” 🙂
Get a DOULA! If you want to attempt a drug free delivery, and don’t want doctors/nurses stressing epidurals etc. on you, a Doula will advocate and be there to make sure that your wishes are carried out. I had my first daughter without an epidural and I must say it was the best experience ever. I felt as if I could take on the world after it was over. It hurt – a lot! and no matter what anyone says, I still remember every second of it. I did go on to have my second child – (with an epidural) surprisingly enough!
I was deathly afraid of childbirth. The entire process from conception to birth really blows my mind and somehow doesn’t seem at all natural to me even to this day. BUT, my Doula was fantastic and I attribute the smooth deliverly of both of my kids to her (she did not put me down when I asked for the drugs the second time!). The two experiences were totally different and I knew no matter what no one has ever had a two year old still hangin out in the womb, so that babe is coming out either way and I might as well get going with it!
Good luck!
You have to go with your gut. I have had 4 kids all with epidurals, but I was talked into them. I waited until the las minute to have them and I really thought that I could have held on for another half hour (I am blessed with short labors. I will say that it was nice to be able to watch and concentrat on the whole experience without pain to distract me. I had 4 great epidurals.. no sleepy no foggyness. I say this not to gloat, but to tell you that a good epidural is a nice thing. I should mention that my last child got stuck with her hand by her face and had to be yanked out. She had a broken collar bone, I was glad to have the epidural on that one!
I actually just wrote about this topic also. I had two induced labors and the pain was so unreal (I believe because of the inducement) that I had to get the epi but it didn’t even give me full relief. I’ve decided that I’d like to try it as natural as possible…which is all related to whether or not I go into labor on my own. If I get the pit again there will be no doubt I’ll have an epi, but I’m going to do all I can to avoid that.
I have four children and have given birth with every type of pain control from the epidural AND morphine to nothing. In my experience, the epidural was bad, because I couldn’t feel pain I pushed HARD and ended up with a third degree tear. I couldn’t sit for six weeks. With nothing, I barely remember the pain. Sure it was painful, but my body took care of me with good hormones and the post partum recovery was much faster. Also, I discovered that when you get to the most painful part during transition where you think YOU MIGHT DIE, it’s almost over. That being said, advice is best NOT given, you will do what is right for you in the moment and are not a failure in any situation. Have a beautiful birth and more importantly a beautiful, healthy child!
I did my first birth the way you did it. Exactly the way the Dr. said. For my second birth experience, I went to a mid-wife, but still went to the hospital. I did most of my laboring at home and was 9 dialated when I got to the hospital. To be honest, it wasn’t too bad and felt so much better than I did after my first birth with induction and epidural. I hope this is an encouragement to you!
I gave birth naturally. At 11:45 my water broke, my contractions started shortly after midnight, I arrived at the hospital about 1 dilated to a 5. By 3:45 in the morning, I was ready to push and I did so for 20 minutes. Then I was holding Ava and asking the nurse if she was a girl and then if she was alright (my mind was not as fast as my body).
I recommend giving birth naturally. I think women can do it, that women were made to do it and the best advice I can offer is, just when you think you can’t do it anymore, it’s almost over. So keep going. You can do it!
When I had my first child, I wanted to go without drugs “if I could”. We took Lamaze classes and I decided we would see how it went. I decided later that I wanted and epi, I could get one and not beat myself up about it. He was born in 6 and a half hours with no drugs and just a small episiotomy cause the cord was around his neck and the dr wanted to get him out quickly.
Now I have given birth 4 more times and each one is different. I remember a lot of screaming and sweating with my 2nd. My third one my water broke and I had very light contractions for about 8 hours before the fun started. I must have walked around the hospital 4 times trying to get labor started. But then she was born in 2 hours after the hard contractions started.
My 4th was an adventure. Labored naturally, the dr came to check and said I was dilated to a 5 but he wasn’t feeling the head. Ultrasound confirmed she was breach so I ended up with a spinal so they could turn her and she was born naturally (no c-section, yea!) But I felt horrible and was throwing up and couldn’t pee for 12 hours afterwards. A terrible feeling but a beautiful result 🙂
My last was a week late and was induced. I was already having contractions but they gave me the pit anyways. She came so fast that the dr wasn’t even there yet, the nurse was across the room and she just shot out onto the bed.
Well, all that said, I felt horrid after my one with medication, pretty good after all the others and recovered fast too. But every woman is different. If you want to do it, don’t let anyone tell you different. But I always recommend trying it without meds and you can (almost) always ask for the meds later if you think you can’t handle it. And there is no shame in anyone getting meds. You do what you can to bring that beautiful baby into this world.
Go with the flow of your body and what God is telling it to do… not the doctors. I had a similar birth experience to your first one and next time we have a baby I’m hoping for a home birth. I didn’t feel out of control at all until I got to the hospital and the nurses started ordering me around! I think most people choose to birth at home so they CAN be in control. I do have some reservations about not being in a hospital where a C-sect could be done if I really needed it, but in the hospital you just have to fight so hard to protect yourself and your baby.
Hi Amanda,
I wasn’t sure if I should post since you already have a lot of comments, wow you have a lot of readers! 🙂 But here I am typing anyway, I think the nature of the topic is just so personal and endearing to discuss.
I’m an advocate of natural child birth. We hired a doula to labor with us and loved it. She had lots of great alternatives to manage the pain and my husband loved being told what to do to help (seriously!). BUT I can only speak for my own two birth experiences. Prayerfully I’ll have another successful story to tell in about 3 weeks.
By the way, I also tend to want to people please so I know it’s one thing to say it and another to follow through on it, but you’re probably paying your nurse(s) and doctor right? Probably a lot of money, even if most of it is coming out of insurance, you’re still paying, so they are hired to help you. I mean that respectfully, I appreciate them and that they try to do their jobs well but they are still being paid to serve you. Just something to remember. By the way, in my experience, the nurses have been in awe and thrilled to help in someone who actually wanted to try a natural birth. The docs thought it was great too and just showed up to do their last “catching” part.