This is a guest post from one of my very favorite people and bloggers in the world, Mary from Giving Up on Perfect. After reading this post, you might wanna click over to her blog because she’s hosting a big Christmas shindig with prizes!
source: theogeo
When I left my full-time job to stay home with my daughter, I started a tradition of seasonal bucket lists. Each time a new season rolled around, I’d scour the internet for ways to have fun with my family. From local event calendars to the ever-helpful Pinterest, I’d take notes of all the projects, field trips and activities we could possibly fit into the next three months.
Then I’d sit down with my daughter, and together we’d pick out our favorites. I’d type them into a cute list and stick it on the fridge . . . where it would stare us down, demanding to be crossed off and judging us when we couldn’t meet every seasonal or holiday goal.
See, while I said those lists were guidelines for family fun, something I was doing FOR THEM . . . that wasn’t really the whole truth. As a Type A, perfectionist list-maker, those bucket lists were a measuring stick, a way for me to see – on paper and everything – just how good a mom I’d been in a season.
When I put it that way, it sounds so ridiculous. But honestly, it took me several seasons to realize I was going about event planning, goal setting and family fun in a the wrong way. I was talking with my husband recently, and I noted that there’s simply no season that’s NOT crazy busy and overwhelming for most people.
Summertime is supposed to be full of beach reads and relaxation, but really? We cram those steamy months with summer school, family vacations, field trips and home repairs. And fall, well, fall is full of back to school and getting back into extracurricular activities and apple picking and baking and wow, how did the holidays get here so fast? And of course, winter and spring have their own busy-ness, meaning we’re left with no margin, no breathing room, no time to just BE.
Adding a mandatory list of “fun” activities on top of all that really just drove me – and my family – a little crazy. So just like I call myself a recovering perfectionist, I’m also now a reformed bucket list-maker.
Sure, we still make what my daughter calls our “fun lists.” But now, rather than being a strict schedule and to-do list that stresses us out, it’s simply a piece of paper with a few general plans and ideas we might – or might not – get around to this year. And this year’s holiday list might be even shorter than ever. I’m working part-time and nearly eight months pregnant, plus my daughter is now in kindergarten (which shouldn’t be THAT different from preschool but oh, IT IS).
As we head into the holidays (one of the busiest seasons of the entire, busy year), my family will sit down and look at our calendar. We’ll plan our extended family get-togethers for Thanksgiving and Christmas, add in a birthday date for my husband and me, and brainstorm ways to celebrate the season and continue our traditions together.
But, despite my desire to DO ALL THE THINGS, we’ll keep that list of celebrations and traditions short this time.
Pack a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child.
Get back in the routine of writing in our gratitude journal.
Bake something pumpkin together.
Go see Christmas lights.
Watch a Christmas movie together.
Decorate the house for Christmas.
Host a small open house for church friends.
Follow Truth in the Tinsel through Advent.
Would I love to bake candy cane-shaped cookies and sign up to ring the Salvation Army bell and make ornaments for our tree (and, oh yeah, buy a new tree)? Sure. Just like I wish I could fit in (or afford) trips to see Handel’s Messiah, The Nutcracker Suite and Trans-Siberian Orchestra. And I’d so love to host a grown-up New Year’s Eve party and commit to performing 25 acts of kindness during December.
But for now, simple and sweet trumps busy and bothered by a mile. And even Pinterest can’t convince me otherwise.
How do YOU keep your holidays (or other seasons) from getting overly busy?
Mary Carver is a writer, blogger, church planter, wife and mom. A recovering perfectionist, Mary writes with honesty and humor about her imperfect life at www.givinguponperfect.com. Her posts about everything from dieting and housekeeping to parenting and faith encourage other women to give up on perfect and get on with life. She also writes for (in)courage and is the author of Plan a Fabulous Party {without losing your mind}. And this month, she’s giving away this great resource for FREE! Simply join the Giving Up on Perfect community on Facebook, and it’s all yours!
I’m going to read this to my Mops group on Thursday when I speak to them on keeping Christmas meaningful. This is perfect.
Oh, thanks, Alex!! I hope they enjoy it – and take it to heart. (Honestly I need to read it to MYSELF just about every day, because with so many cool, fun, meaningful things to choose from during the holidays, it’s hard to remember to keep it simple and why!!)
wow!it is wonderful article…i will read the keeping Christmas meaningful…
Love this post. It is tempting to have a long list of things I want to do (there’s so much going on!) but I have to remember my energy level and budget. I haven’t made a list of things, but we are definitely participating in Operation Christmas Child this weekend. There are some things we do at church every year. But nothing elaborate. I don’t want to get so caught up in doing things that I forget to celebrate Jesus.
And isn’t THAT our true motivation? Remembering to celebrate Jesus first, last and every moment in between – instead of celebrating ourselves and our clever crafts and all that? Thank you for your comment and making me think, Laila!! 🙂
I am having trouble getting the Truth in the Tinsel site to come up. I’m interested in getting the ebook, but can’t get to the site 🙁
Jenna: I think the site was down for some reason earlier today. Try again–it’s up now! 🙂
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One of the ways that I keep it simple is, I take the same dishes to every get together, (3 Thanksgiving and 4 X-mas) the kids and I pick a main dish ,sides and desserts/ candies or cookies. My grocery list is simplified , just buy x 3 and I know exactly what I’m taking, no stressing there,lol.Prep work is easy and is done in bulk.This years Thanksgiving menu – roast turkey breast, slaw, baby lima beans, Ruth’s Chris sweet potato casserole and cornflake candy , reg. and a sugar free version . The candy and the sweet potatoes and slaw can be cooked/prepped ahead of time. Pop the turkey in the oven first thing, that leaves just limas and assemble and bake the sweet potato casserole. Planning Christmas menu now. Hope everyone has a truly blessed and less stressed holiday season.
I love that idea, Daphne! I actually mentioned in today’s post on my own blog before reading your comment! I suggested we streamline everything we can – use the same gift wrapping, give people the same gift, make the same holiday potluck dish! So much easier!!
Got into the truth in the tinsel site now, can’t wait to start it with our son!
Here is a post by Christy Jordan @ Southern Plate that is essentially the same idea plus some great time saver recipes.
Sorry ! Here is the post http://www.southernplate.com/2011/04/tater-tot-casserole-and-going-north.html
Yep I was able to get in and order the ebook/ornaments! Yay!! Thanks!
I have loved being intentional about the seasons, because it has helped us to have more fun. But that is because my personality is not type A. What does that make me? I don’t even know. 🙂 So, it doesn’t bother me when we don’t get something checked off the list.
That being said, I think this post is so needed. Even with my laid back personality, we get too busy. I don’t want to get to the end of all this mothering and feel like I missed the important things. I loved what you had to say about just BEING! Great post- and congratulations on your pregnancy!!!
I am the exact same way. I think for our summer bucket list we did 7 out of 12 things and the way I look at it is “well, there’s 7 things I wouldn’t have done otherwise”. I do realize how that list could become a measuring stick though and I think it is a great article. I bust my measuring stick out while browsing facebook, unfortunately.
Mary,
So well said. As a struggling perfectionist myself, I like how you summarized the pitfalls of seasonal bucket lists. I just recently read over my summer list and tried not to feel guilty about what we hadn’t done. And I resolved to return to keeping only a long-term family bucket list (that is still in some ways a guideline and not a checklist). For some people I think the seasonal checklist is a good motivator to get out and try new things. But really shouldn’t a bucket list be a way of summarizing the kind of life we want to live and the intentions we have? We’ve already talked about which traditions we don’t want to miss this year at Christmas. And I have a few ideas of new things I want to do/check out. So I think we’ll write up a “fun list” like you did. And yes, by all means it will be short. And simple.
Blessings,
Lara
Thank you for this great reminder. I just shared it on our MOPS page as I know so many of our moms struggle with the FB and Pinterest envy syndrome that we can all fall into at times.
Wonderful topic for this coming Christmas. Thank you so much for this reminder.