For the first few years of marriage my husband and I did everything together. We went to school together, worked in the same outlet mall in college, then had shared our children’s pastor job at church, we even had one car for several years. It was a hard transition for me when I became a stay-at-home mom to suddenly be separated from what my husband was doing every day.
Abruptly, I had a new priority. I had to take care of my daughter. And it became overwhelming. Soon I had to fight to keep my husband a priority in my life. Of course, he had my daughter as a priority in his life, too. But as we added our son to the family, we moved away from our children’s pastor jobs, my husband started his own company and more, our priorities have automatically changed. We don’t have the same schedule any more. We don’t ride in the car together twice a day. We don’t have to talk to each other about every decision we make for our jobs.
It was easy to make my husband a top priority when we were together every second of the day. Now that I have children, homeschooling, a house and a couple of blogs to take care of, it’s easier to put my loving he-knows-I-love-him husband on the back burner. After all, his needs aren’t as immediate as my children’s, or the dishes or the laundry. It’s easy to ignore him.
But what happens if I continue to ignore him? We drift apart. We become unattached. We have dissimilar goals. And our children will see and feel this.
Children feel secure when parents love and honor each other. Children thrive when their parents love each other. Yes, that means leaving our kids for date nights, focusing on our husband when he comes home instead of dinner, listening to your husband talk instead of your children is actually GOOD FOR YOUR KIDS!
Paul tells us that marriage is a picture of God’s love for the church. When we can love our husbands and show that firm relationship to our children, we are also showing our children a beautiful picture of God’s love for them!
So, today? Give your husband a big fat kiss in front of your kids, sit on the couch with him for a few minutes when he comes home, start doing one thing “for Daddy” every day with your kids (clean something he’d like cleaned, make a food he’d like, etc) and show your children how much you love your husband!
Resources for you:
Real Mothers Love Fathers at Motherhood Your Way
Honoring the Man they Call Daddy at Motherhood Yo)r Way (and on facebook!)
How do you make your marriage a priority?
photo source: wcupmartin6
Our girls LOVE it when we have a legit date night. They help me put my makeup on and pick my outfit. I think it’s a great way to model how they should act/dress when they eventually go on dates.
I have the opposite story the early part of my marriage was spent running in different directions and as the kids have joined us we have had to band together for the benefit of my husband’s business. He needs my help in the everyday stuff. We have had to relearn how to communicate on this level which has been a journey in itself. I’m still the primary caregiver/home coordinator making sure everyone is headed off to their various places at the right times, but we work together.
A friend of mine recently told me about a great website with fun date-night ideas and printables! I’m looking forward to giving it a try! http://marriedlifeonline.com/greatdate/