Yesterday I alluded to how I am making small strides to streamline my mornings. I’ve noticed when we do a slow and lazy morning, I get crazy and wild kids. So, I’ve decided our mornings are going to be full of vim and vigor. We’re going to work and hustle and bustle through the hours that my kids are actually the most pleasant and the most attentive. The problem has been that *I* am not the most pleasant and attentive first thing in the morning. I want to curl up with a book or my computer and an egg sandwich. I don’t want to get my blood pumping and tackle the dishwasher, the dirty clothes and messy rooms.
Plus, the biggest thing for me, is that this cuts into my blogging time. I usually get on my computer for an hour in the morning–I let the kids eat breakfast while they watch 2 shows. But the more I indulge “my” time on the computer, the more…I don’t know, hurricane-ish the kids get…or maybe the more selfish and short I get. This morning I shortened their 2-show breakfast to a 1-show breakfast. Which as you know with Tivo is really only about 20 minutes. But it made for a smoother and more efficient morning.
This is another one of those hard things that is bubbling up in my life. My kids behavior is a direct reflection of mine. I can see it clearly every day. And when I choose to “just check my email” in between doing the dishes and making the beds, I can see them doing the same thing—only it’s not email for them, it’s playing, running or grabbing another toy. I’m not focused, so they are not focused.
I don’t want them focused on the surface thing of “cleaning the house” or “doing chores”. I want them to see the way they act, the way they clean, get dressed and do household activities is part of being a family. I want them to see and understand that they are giving back to the family. They are not merely inhabitants of my house, they are family members and as such, I want them to see their role. Yes, their role in our family. I think it will bring confidence and self-worth to them as they see how they add to our household. And I think it will bring more understanding and respect for the other members of the family (ie. ME).
But in order to do so, I am realizing how much I have to model it. I have to show my role with a pleasant attitude. I have to show the role of a homemaker as such–a HOME MAKER. Not a housecleaner. Not a housewife. Not even a teacher or coach. I want them to see that I am crafting their home to develop them as people.
Practically speaking, I’ve set Lydia up with a new morning routine. She has to make her bed, clean her room, get dressed and brush her teeth before she can eat breakfast. (And I’m not waiting for her to do it!) Asa has to put his cup away after each meal. And they both have to help do the dishes.
Do I sound like I’m putting too much pressure on my day? On myself? On them? I don’t think I am. I can see and feel how quickly their lives are going. I can’t let another second pass us by. I want them to see their value to our family. I want them to feel how good it is to serve and give back to the family instead of always taking and expecting others to serve them.
If you are a parent how do you do this with your kids? Do they have chores? How do they “give back” to the family?
I can’t remember when, but my brother and I had to do chores. We had to vacuum the whole house and clean our bathroom, which typically happened every Saturday and I remember it starting when I was 5th grade and my brother in 3rd. Although I know we did other chores when we were younger too, I mostly remember the vacuuming and bathroom cleaning.
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I think you said it best when you said you want your kids to see their value to the family. Working does give all of us (even kids) a feeling of accomplishment. Learning to work around the house teaches responsibility and leadership. Plus when more hands are helping out, there’s more time for FUN!
.-= Christine (iDreamofClean)´s last blog ..So, Your Little Artist Drew ALL Over the Walls! =-.
After reading this post, I don’t doubt that my son could be becoming unfocused because he sees his parents being unfocused — and I’ve noticed an increased lack of focus in my little guy lately. Much of the behavior you’re written about my wife and I are guilty of. We’re constantly sneaking time on the computer in between household responsibilities and while he eats or watches his shows.
In regards to injecting routine and order into his life, he’s a very young 2, and aside from us making him pick up any toys or books that he’s gotten out, anything else he tries to ‘help’ us with usually ends up making more work for mommy and daddy in the end. (That’s not to say we don’t let him ever do it though.) I don’t know if he has the capacity for anything beyond this yet.
It almost seems as though he picks up our negative habits easily and instantly, while our positive habits require constant affirmation in order to sink in.
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Great post Amanda!
I’ve also been seeing how much my attitudes and actions affect those of my kids. Even though I get up early and get a lot done, I’m a little slow moving when it comes to getting the kids going in the morning. I need to get them on a solid routine so that by the time breakfast is over, we’re all ready to face the day – whether that’s staying home or going out. Too often this week, we’ve been in our pj’s until …um….late. 🙂
I think I especially need to make sure we don’t get tool lazy during the summer or it will be that much harder to get back into a schedule when school starts.
And to answer your question, my kids do their chores after dinner. They each have a little chart and we alternate chores each week. It’s been awesome. I haven’t dusted or cleaned their bathroom in months.
.-= Kat @ Inspired To Action´s last blog ..Focused Motherhood: Teach Our Kids The Art of Decisionmaking =-.
My son is only 6 months old, so he gives back….lots of body fluids?
No, just teasing (well, sorta). His smiles light up our lives!
I really enjoyed this post. As parents (and soooo much as moms) we really set the “tone” in our homes!
.-= Alicia´s last blog ..Decluttering on Steriods =-.
WOW…God must have spoken into your ear that *I* so needed to read this today. I, too, have come to the same conclusion about structuring our morning. I, too, am NOT a morning person and being structured at any time is an issue for me.
Thanks, Amanda. Now I just need to work on it!
.-= Janna´s last blog ..My Boy Is ELEVEN =-.
Great ideas! Beautiful picture of your precious family! Such a blessing!
I didn’t have chores growing up and I actually wanted them because my friends all had to do chores. So, I would give myself chores to do. 🙂
Both of our kids had chores growing up and started doing their laundry around age 12 or 13. When our daughter went off to college, she had to teach one of her girlfriends how to do laundry. She was glad she knew how to do it!
.-= Charla @ Healthy Home Blog´s last blog ..Thank You, Chrissy! =-.
No, not too much pressure at all. My kids have a list of chores to work out everyday and when things get crazy I simply remind them… “Have you done your chores yet today?” Generally if they do not have chores done I say no to fun stuff until it is. They get things done pretty quickly. 🙂 I love them being responsible and I have noticed too that when they take responsibility for a bit of cleaning they are less likely to mess it up as quickly.