I knew I was going to hate writing the first post that was non-Dominican Republic. Jumping from poverty, kids affected by HIV and river slums right into a rundown of my affluent life makes me feel weird. In fact, this whole next week of “re-entry” makes me feel a little ill. I have a Disney World Moms Conference Call on Tuesday, Lydia’s ballet class and a church meeting are on Wednesday, Thursday Les and I are going to Mary Poppins at the Fox Theatre. On Friday, I’ll be setting up for my sister-in-law’s graduation party. Saturday is my birthday.
How easy will it be for me to jump back into my comfy life and forget the people I met in the Dominican Republic?
I don’t want to give the impression that I’m ready to sell my earthly goods and head for the DR. I’m not. And I’m not even suggesting that I’ve been broken and in need of a life overhaul. I don’t want to make a bigger deal of my experience for mere shock value. BUT I also do not want to forget what I saw and felt while I was touring with World Vision. I don’t really WANT to be the same.
This trip was just another small layer of stuff God has been working on in me. I told you a few weeks ago about how the idea of Do Hard Things had impacted me. The “hard things” that I’ve been doing lately are not “become a missionary” or “sell all my clothes” or “start walking to the grocery store”. They are “scrub the leftover dishes when the dishwasher is full” and “get up at 6am to walk when I want to sleep” and “stand up and get my children when they complain/whine/argue instead of talking to them from another room” and “don’t allow yourself to want something you don’t have”. It’s little stuff. But right now? For me? It’s a hard thing.
This trip to the Dominican just put another layer of confirmation and purpose into my heart. I will not fall into the materialistic trap. I will not let my kids be raised as pampered Americans. I will not allow my worth, confidence and fulfillment to come from things. But I will work on doing everything as if unto the Lord. I will be an example of what I want for my kids–even when I don’t want to be the example. I will take the focus off of things and onto relationships.
It sounds silly and trite and meaningless. But right now, where I am, it is a hard thing. And I’m determined to make it happen.
You may see a few more posts about the Dominican Republic (pretty sure my Top Ten {Tuesday} will be focused on my trip) and about these hard things that I’ve been thinking about and had stewing in my heart for awhile. I feel like God has been bringing me to a new place and this trip with World Vision was part of that journey.
Thanks for giving me the space and time to talk about it.
Don’t diminish your hard things. They are hard!
It was so great to have the opportunity to follow your blog and twitter updates about your trip to the DR. This post reminds me of the first few days after I came back from my mission trip to Kenya and adjusting to dealing with what seemed like shallow American problems.
Looking back, I love that God doesn’t let us just be content with an experience like traveling to the DR without stirring our hearts to make a difference in the ways that best fit us as individuals.
I agree with Amy,
Thanks for sharing your heart. I know we will be hearing in the future more about how the DR will change you and your family in little bits and big bits.
One of the reasons God is so good–we leave for a missions trip excited about the good we are going to do in God’s name, only to return and find out that God did just as much for us as we thought we were doing for others! I look forward to reading more about your trip!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Civic Duty and the Crazy Old Bat =-.
One of the reasons God is so good–we leave for a missions trip excited about the good we are going to do in God’s name, only to return and find out that God did just as much for us as we thought we were doing for others! I look forward to reading more about your trip!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Civic Duty and the Crazy Old Bat =-.
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