This morning I was working on a post for something really fantastic I just got in the mail. (Can’t wait to show you!) And as I was trying to upload some stuff, transfer it, download it, blah blah, I started getting aggravated. Lydia was asking me questions, trying to sit in my lap and generally just acting like a leech.
Finally I had to stop working on it because I had to leave in an hour and I was still in my pajamas, Lydia still had milk all over her face and frankly, I was about to throw the computer across the room.
After reprimanding Lydia for allowing her cousin to pour hand sanitizer all over the playroom floor last night (I discovered the empty bottle this morning), I hopped in the shower. You’d think showers were the one place you’d get some privacy. The one place you can collect your thoughts. But instead all I heard was, “Mommy, what are you doing?” and “Why did you get a new hair dryer?” and “Watch me jump, Mommy!” and “Do you need some more soap?” and one more time, “Mommy!! What are you doing?!!!”
I could not contain my voice anymore. I told Lydia to go into the playroom and let me get dressed. That didn’t work. But I know her little ears picked up on my aggravation. We continued getting ready to the tune of 3000 questions.
Finally, we were cleaned and dressed. We walked out into the kitchen and I had fifteen minutes to spare. I had to send an email (really, I did!) and still in a funk I sat down to send it off. Lydia stood right beside me and said,
“You don’t have to be sad, Mommy. You can smile.”
And I realized my attitude had permeated the house. My aggravation at my computer, Lydia’s questions and just the everyday blahs were obvious to my two year old.
I picked her up with tears in my eyes and said, “Was Mommy being grumpy?” She said yes. I told her I was so sorry for being grumpy with her. I kissed her neck till she laughed, then I changed my voice and made a choice to start my day over.