When Daddy had emergency surgery on a cancerous tumor in his colon, the doctors told us in the post-op meeting that there was nothing they could do. The cancer had ravaged his body and that was it. One day I might write the whole day out in detail, but it’s still too fresh.
However, I want to share one part of his story with you today.
The doctor told us not to tell Daddy that he had cancer or any part of his diagnosis for a few days because of the medication Daddy was on. It was so hard for us because we felt like we were lying to him and we (especially Mama) needed to talk to him and get his advice on what to do.
While we were in the hospital, we saw lots of miracles happen. Every time a doctor would come to us with news, it was always better than the last report. They were dumbfounded with the tumor and even sent it away to be studied. But when we got the “final diagnosis” from the doctors, we were all at home eating together.
I picked up the phone and gave it to Mama because the caller ID said, “Atlanta Cancer Care.” After we ate, Daddy said, “Who was it?” And Mama told him that the doctors said he had lymphoma cancer. I remember Daddy looking shocked. Then after a little conversation, he started crying and said something like, “Out of all of us, I feel like I’m the weakest one. I don’t know if I can do this.” It makes me cry as I type this to remember his tears and his words.
We had 5 or 6 days to process and get our minds right regarding the cancer. At the moment Daddy heard the word “cancer”, we were already days into our faith walk with God. It was the first time I realized that I couldn’t understand what Daddy was going through. I could say a hundred times, “God will heal you.” or “Don’t worry.” But I wasn’t the one with cancer! I wasn’t the one with a foot long scar down my abdomen. I wasn’t the one who had to face chemo and radiation. I wasn’t the one that could potentially DIE.
I try to remember this feeling when I’m talking with people now. When they are in a terrible situation, I try to remember that I’m not the one going through it. I can’t feel the conflicting emotions inside of their heart.
I’m trying to remember this when reading Heather’s blog. In case you haven’t read her story, she’s been diagnosed with a brain tumor. She’s at the Mayo Clinic right now and is having BRAIN SURGERY on Thursday. She is a pillar of strength…with a few doubts thrown in. But who wouldn’t? She’s a talented 32 year old mom of 3 who is about to undergo surgery on her BRAIN!
Kelli at Living in Grace is hosting a prayer vigil for Heather beginning on Wednesday, May 4. I want to pray for Heather like I prayed for Daddy. I want to feel the pain I felt when Daddy heard “cancer”. I want God to do for Heather what he did for Daddy. Despite Daddy’s pain, doubts and humanity, God healed him. You can read his whole story here.
My favorite part of the story is that the next morning Daddy came downstairs wearing a Stryper t-shirt that had Isaiah 53:5 printed on it:
…he [Jesus] was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
Please join me in praying God’s Word for Heather this week.
Anonymous says
I responded to MorningSong via email but just wanted to respond on here, too. I don’t know Heather and she doesn’t know me. But I have been reading her blog before she got diagnosed. And she is totally for real. Just go click around her blog and read her bio, etc. She’s a true God-lover.
says
Do you know Heather? I have been curious if this is a true story or a scam. I know this is via CWO but anyone can fake it. I don’t know her and would love to know if this is real! If true, my heart breaks for her. Please let me know!
says
Heather…she is something special. You can know that about her without ever meeting her face to face.
says
Glad to know Heather is legitimate in her story! Sorry that she is having such a health trouble!! I will definitely be praying for God to send His ministering angels to comfort and strenghthen her! I also pray for a divine and complete healing for her that can bring glory to our Lord and King!
says
Amanda,
You are an encourager- even though I had tears in my eyes when I re-lived some of the details about Daddy- especially that exact day.
Your comments were so thoughtful though- and the Scripture and the song were exactly right.
I think some people will find their way to this post to be ecouraged and ministered to.
I love you,
Mama 🙂
Anonymous says
I’ll be praying for Heather as well. I spend Wendesday afternoons in solitude, so I will definitely be lifting her up in prayer.
says
I don’t know how I landed on this post today Amanda, but it ministered to my heart when I needed it. thank you.
says
After I typed that comment, I looked up at the post by your mother, and noticed she wrote that people would find the post and be ministered to. She was right.
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