One of our best couple friends are getting divorced next month. It’s so sad. We used to hang out with them every week and go bowling, eat Mexican food and stay up late playing video games. (Well, the guys would play video games. We just watched and talked.) Now they are living in different cities because she has had multiple affairs and has decided she wants to live a free uninhibited life. It’s hard for me to even fathom the girl we used to hang out with could do this to her husband.
I just finished a good book called Savannah by the Sea by Denise Hildreth. It’s a chick-lit book, a light read and very funny. In the book, Savannah (our heroine) meets an older couple on her vacation. This couple is obviously very much in love and Savannah is impressed with them. She begins having long conversations with them and discovers that the wife had an affair early in their marriage. (I don’t know the bloggy rules, but I’m going to quote a section from the book…) Savannah says,
“Maybe you shouldn’t have married Manuel. Maybe he wasn’t the one.”
The dimple in her chin deepened as she smiled. “Oh, he was the one. But even if I thought he wasn’t, he became the one the day I married him. That’s just how it is. No excuse I wanted to apply to our marriage would have made my decision right. I’ve heard a thousand excuses out of the mouths of people who have affairs. ‘He doesn’t treat me the way I should be treated,’ they say. None of that matters. I am responsible for every decision I’ve ever made. And I am responsible for the commitment I made to Manuel the day I promised to love him until death do us part. I broke that promise. It was wrong. And I have paid a heavy price for it.”
The italics above were mine. Oh, I wish I could share this with my friend! I’ve haven’t spoken to her since they separated. I know she doesn’t want to talk to me. And I know I wouldn’t be able to say what I wanted. I ache for the pain her soon to be ex-husband is going through. I ache for the pain she will go through. I know it takes two to tango, but somehow she has convinced herself that leaving her marriage, her covenant and her vows is the right thing to do. She believes that he wasn’t “the one” and she’s righting the wrong.
Savannah gets to talk to Manuel about the affair and asks how he could forgive his wife. He talks of forgiveness being the only option. He didn’t want to live in bitterness and regret. After their conversation, Savannah leaves and the chapter ends with this, “From the street I looked back and watched him walk into the house. A man far beyond my ability to comprehend. A hurt I couldn’t conceive of. A forgiveness far greater than I was capable of.” God’s desire is to do things beyond our comprehension. To restore broken marriages and heal broken hearts. To bring life, love and joy to our lives.
I pray He does something incomprehensible for you.