Me Vs. God

I had always hoped Asa and Lydia would take naps at the same time. That way I’d have my 2 little hours of alone time. Well, it doesn’t work out that way. I usually lay Lydia down, pick Asa up; then when I lay him down, I get Lydia up. My blogging time has completely waned and alone time? Never heard of it.

But getting that alone time with Asa while Lydia is asleep? It’s precious. Yesterday he smiled and cooed the whole time. He’d look right at my eyes and melt my heart. He was wearing some cute little camo pants from my aunt and cousin. He had a brown onesie on that accentuated his rippling muscles round tummy. He looked just like a little soldier.

And my mind wandered. What if he did grow up to serve his country? What if he becomes the kind of man who is willing to give his life for his country? What if my little boy gives the ultimate sacrifice for others?

Who is this little boy going to be? How can I help him be the man God has intended him to be?

Yesterday, while Asa was sleeping, Lydia and I played dress up. She was wearing a princess dress, plastic earrings, Cinderella shoes and a pink visor. As I clipped the little plastic earrings onto her ears, I thought about the day I’d see her wearing another dress—a wedding dress. I thought about helping her with her earrings on that day.

How do I help her prepare for her wedding…her marriage? How do my daily interactions help grow her into a woman that will choose the right man on that day?

I am surprised at how much I think about their futures. I think about their kindergarten class, their senior prom, their college graduation and their children. I want so much to use every bit of myself to influence them for God. I want to use every second of my day to help them grow into normal, smart, healthy, intelligent, loving kids and one day, adults. When I begin to think that I’m the one that determine their fate…well, it’s frightening and overwhelming.

I have to actively turn my mind from the frigtening things that could happen to what I know is true: I know their futures don’t depend on me alone. They will make their own choices. And God is the one in control–not as a chess player, but as the empower-er and director.

God’s already gone before them. He has all their days planned. And as I help them know Him, they’ll begin to follow Him on their own. And He will lead them to who He has planned them to be.

This is what I cling to. For their futures.


  1. This post brought tears to my eyes! It’s beautiful. I think about my girl’s lives, as well. Sometimes it’s hard to think about what the future might bring, but I know God is in control.

  2. When I read this beautiful post I think about how quickly my own girls grew up and were gone. Treasure every moment you have with them. I’m still in amazement that my first grandbaby is already 2 and growing up so fast. Follow in your awesome parents footsteps and your children will turn out as wonderful as you and Jason did.
    I love you all.

  3. Thanks for this post! So true! Brought me to tears!

  4. Wow, your post couldn’t have been better for me today! I have both of my little ones napping which is a rare treat! Thanks for the reminder to enjoy each stage of their lives, and to continue to trust God with their futures!

  5. What a great articulation of what any Christian parent struggles with. The tension between wanting to mold and shape every aspect of their life and knowing that ultimately we need to loosen our hands just a bit. Great post.

  6. You’re right — we can set a good example and try to teach them what’s right, but as mothers, we can’t carve out their paths for them.

    I try not to think about my boy growing up! 😉

  7. My three children are all grown up now and two of them even have children of their own. Because they are now adults doesn’t mean my wondering about how they will deal with life and God’s will for them. Not in the least! I think it’s a mother’s job to forever try to see that her young, regardless of their ages, find their way to living at peace within themselves and serving God -and country too, if need be. And now, with three of the bestet grandkids ever, I find myself starting again -in the earlier phases of wondering -and worrying too -about them and their future. About the best we can do, beyond trying to teach them the right way to life, to do good, is to pray that the messages falls on receptive ears.

  8. This is beautiful, Amanda… thank you.

  9. What a blessing Lydia and Asa have in a mom like you!

  10. Awesome! I pray constantly for my Ladybug’s future. I pray that she is so in love with God that her desire to serve Him over-rides any desire to go with the flow or do things just to fit in.

    I love the privilege of praying for her!

    And I’m with ya on the no alone time. I get about an hour, if I’m lucky, during naptime. And most of that, I just want to stare at the walls.

  11. Beautiful post! I’m seriously weepy now. I really have to push those thoughts about Wog’s and Bug’s futures out of my mind. I get very overwhelmed at how much what I do right now is molding them for those very choices you mention… especially since I feel like I screw up every stinkin’ day. It is nice to be reminded about Who ultimately holds their future and (Praise Him) my days!

    I pretty much gave up on Woggie nap time since they would not nap at the same time and I could not get him to go down if Buggie was awake. So the closest thing I have to alone time is when Bug is napping and Wog is still enough to watch a little TV or DVD. I know, I know… my book on good parenting is in the works!

  12. I have 3 daughters. 1 is married and has given me 2 beautiful grandsons ages 2 and 1/2 and 7months. Wow do I feel old…I just want to say that my oldest daughter has never lost her faith in God she is just sure. My middle daughter did for awhile when going through a couple of deaths in our family. She has found it again, thank you Jesus! My youngest has now decided she does not know what she believes. I am scared again. I try to listen when she talks and not to push. I do let her know that my faith is what gets me through everyday. I believe once you believe you cant unbelieve. What do you think?

  13. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  14. Thanks for sharing your opinions and thoughts this is great article!

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