SAHM Subculture

Playdates. Before I was a mama, I thought this was the most ridiculous made up term in the world. It sounded like something on the front of a chick-lit book. Playdate. What is that about? Your kids have dates to play? What are they celebrities with an agent?

But now I understand. Playdates. It’s a DATE with other mommies so your kids can PLAY without you! *cue Hallelujah chorus*

I’ve had two fun playdates this week. I met with my messageboard mamas at a town square. We let the kids run around, throw stuff into the fountain and then went to the library for story time. Oh, but we were a week early because apparently story time starts in September.

Today I met my old and new friend, Stephanie at a park. It was so stinkin’ hot out there we drove .5 miles to her mil’s house and the air conditioning! The kids played and played while we chatted. Her mil even played with the kids the whole time–how sweet! It was fun to catch up with Stephanie. She’s just the same. We were middle school girls but now we’re mamas. But we’re still the same. Does that make sense? (uh, btw, I forgot to get even ONE picture today!)

There’s just something about being with people who are in exactly the same place as you. You know when you meet someone that is exactly the same age as you? Born the same month? You just have the exact same memories. (could I use exact and same a few more times?)

Since I’ve met (and had playdates with) these sahms, I find myself encouraged just being around them. They are just like me. Mamas struggling with balancing parenting and marriage. Women willing to lay down their desires for the fulfillment of their kids. Mommies trying to figure out how to discipline without dictating.

I think this is a shadow of what it must have been like ages ago when everyone lived in a little village. When women had their aunts, cousins, moms, grandmothers and sisters to help them navigate the newness of children and family. They made quilts and pies. We drive 30 minutes to see each other and let our kids eat lunchables.

But the idea is the same, forming relationships and support. And the goal is the same; growing our kids into the best people they can be.

(Without going crazy yourself!)


  1. Yep. Nail on head. So nice to have friends who just “get you”. I have a few of those. 🙂

  2. I really think we are missing out on so much in our modern age. I’m sure parenting has always been hard but sometimes I think we make it unnecessarily difficult by trying to do everything ourselves! I know people like to make fun of the “it takes a village” concept but it is totally true! I genuinely believe that it takes a village to properly raise a child. I can’t be everything for my daughter and, really, I don’t want to be. So, I rely on my village: other moms, my church family, my extended family, etc.

    The importance of support really comes home for me during my husband’s busy seasons each year…I know that the concept of an 8 hour work day is really recent in a historical sense. So, moms for all time have been responsible for essentially all of the day to day care of their children…it’s no wonder we lived in multi-generational houses, etc. We need each other, it’s just that simple!

  3. I couldn’t agree more – playdates have been the key to keeping my sanity as a sahm. Tim knows it doesn’t matter if the kids have fun (b/c they always do), but if I had a good time with the moms. I’m so blessed to have all my girlfriends be sahm – it’s been so wonderful!

  4. How fun it must have been to meet up with your old/new friend! I’d like to do that sometime.

  5. So true! How your vocabulary and world changes with kids. Play dates are so necessary for kids AND mom!

    Great post!!

  6. Love your blog!!!! Congrats, girlfriend!

    And ITA with what you said. Just this morning I met a girl at a coffee who was a graphic design major — like me. And so we talked and talked about photoshop and things like that. It’s nice to get to know people who have came down the same road as you and who are going down the same road as you.

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