Why I Don’t Read the Newspaper

I bought a Sunday paper today because…well, I wanted to check out the coupons for Memorial Day. How sick is that? A day to honor the millions of men and women who have given their lives for our country and I’m checking out who’s having the best sale on swimsuits.

So, after I hit the coupon highlights, I decided to peruse the rest of the paper. And I found this article.

Ms. Downey suggests that the abstinence-only education in our middle and high schools didn’t work. According to a report released last month:

With abstinence only education:
56% of kids remained abstinent
23% had sex and always used a condom

Without abstinence only education:
55% remained abstinent
23% had sex and always used a condom

She then suggests that we throw our abstinence-only education out on it’s ear and give kids the truth, “Teens need accurate and complete information, both to prevent unwanted pregnancies and to protect themselves from infections.”

Well, isn’t that a great idea? Teach them the truth!

The truth is sex before marriage is a bad idea! The truth is middle and high schoolers ARE middle and high schoolers. The truth is parents are afraid to talk to their kids. The truth is schools can’t teach kids morality! We’ve taken away the right to have morality and faith taught in school. So, when we sit our kids down and say, “Marriage is important. It is to be cherished. Don’t have sex before you get married.” You know the students are all wondering why this teacher who can’t say “Merry Christmas” or pray before a football game can give advice on a moral issue!

Abstinence-only education in schools doesn’t work because it’s out of place. And it saddens me. I wish every school taught abstinence-only. I wish the statistics showed 99% of kids not having sex because of the education.

How can something like this work in a society that sells cars with bikinis? That shows adultery as a right? That portrays “friends with benefits” the norm? That shows sex as a flippant decision? That deems porn a way to blow off steam?

I don’t even know why the government, the media or our “secular society” even cares about kids having sex. It’s hypocritical to me. Sex is everywhere. We’ve woken our kids sexuality up too early and then tell them to curb it? It’s not going to work.

My daughter has sippy cups with a girl wearing a bikini on them. Elementary and middle schools have dances so pre-pubescent kids can wrap their arms around each other and sway to music in a darkly lit room. Limited Too sells string bikini panties for size 6. Bratz dolls wear mid-drifts and mini skirts.

What else are our girls going to do and our guys going to expect when they reach high school?

This article is sad to me because I agree with the results. I agree it’s not working. I’m not saying we should stop abstinence only education! I heartily disagree! Throughout the whole article, I did not hear one word of how we should fix this problem. I guess pass out more condoms. (As if the physical problems were the only effect of pre-marital sex!)

I wish we could have parent education. So parents could learn to teach and yes, train their kids to protect their bodies, their emotions and their future marriage! I wish we could have teacher education. So teachers could speak up and say, “This isn’t best for you. I know from experience.” The only thing I *can* do is influence my children. And pray that others will do the same.

Song of Solomon, a sensuous book in the Old Testament has it right,

Promise me…not to awaken love until the time is right. (8:4 NLT)


  1. Anonymous says:

    The problem is this: education doesn’t change hearts. We can’t teach, or legislate morality. Only the gospel changes hearts, and unless purity (not abstinence) is taught in conjunction with the gospel, it will not be effective.

    And I don’t believe abstinence education works, because not having sex isn’t the point. Avoiding evil is the point. A pure lifestyle is the point. Walking in a way that is worthy of the calling we have received is the point. As believers we need to teach our kids to be Godly. A secular school system built by a secular society can’t do that. And non-believers can’t teach purity, because their hearts haven’t been purified by the gospel.

    So after ten years of church youth ministry, and now two years of teaching, I have some strong feelings on this subject 🙂 Sorry.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Coralie, I agree with you 100%! I can’t even write a better comment. You just summed it up perfectly!

  3. Well Coralie said it better than I could. It has to come from home, it has to be raised in the heart, it has to be part of your moral upbringing, it has to come from God.

  4. Absolutely accurate and heart-felt post, Amanda. And Coralie is exactly correct too- this issue is a heart condition- not an educational issue at the core. Coincidentally, I was on Jane Fonda’s website today- because I have been wanting to learn some of what she is involved in, especially since she is local to us. Whatever “teen pregnancy” answers were on the website were so obscured by stats, reports and findings- I couldn’t even figure out if they are having success or not. Your blog and Coralie’s answer told the story so much more impactfully than their “professional” website does. Check out Jane’s organization here. http://www.gcapp.org/G-CAPP/policyAndAdvocacy.htm
    Don’t get me wrong- I’m sure they are dong a good job- but with short-sighted methods, more than likely.

  5. I totally agree with you! I agree that abstinence is the only thing we should teach our young. Anstinence in the only biblical thing we can teach. I stand behind that teaching full heartily!

  6. These topics tend to make me feel suffocated! I feel helpless when I look at reality. I feel like we are losing and losing big! My only hope is God will grant mercy on his people and we will begin to see an awesome change in this area! I want to raise my kids in the ways of purity and not fear of going to hell if they do it. I was taught purity but I feel it was more about not going to hell than equipping me with a lifestyle of my choice. My prayer is for God to give me and hubby (as well as all Christians) the wisdom to reach our children and the children in these generations coming forth. I pray their hearts will be receptive to God’s truth and that they will gladly accept His ways! God heal our land!!!!!!!!!

  7. Hi Amanda. Thanks for your comment on my blog 😉 To me sex education should start at home. It’s our job to teach our kids about safe sex or abstinence or how important it is to wait until you are married. I wish parents would take more responsibility

  8. I actually grew up knowing the truth about sex and about waiting. It was crammed down my throat from a young age. I wish I would have digested it fully and really taken the time to weigh the consequences of my actions. I waited until I was older before I threw it away. I have often (at least on the days when I am feeling a longing for the simplicity of the time when we were in high school)wished that I had reconsidered that decision and had listened to what wisdom had tried to instill in me.
    Thanks for your wisdom and heart.

  9. Preach it, sistah! And I agree with Coralie.

  10. You guys have it right. We have to teach it from home. It’s not something I look forward to, though!

  11. Great verse at the end! I checked out the planned parenting site just to look around and clicked on a teen link. I was grossed out by what I read and how they basically told teens how to have sex, that it is perfectly normal and that having an abortion is safer then actually giving birth! OUTRAGED is what I am!

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