You’ve heard people say it and you’ve probably said it yourself, “When I’m a parent, my kids will never do so-and-so.” And if you said it, you really believed it. I was a Children’s Pastor for several years and I said that sentence so many times it’s embarrassing! I have always been able to clearly see why and how parents were missing the mark with their kids. The problem is, I don’t think you can always see those same mistakes in yourself. Or maybe it’s just harder to discipline the little darlings that are your own flesh and blood.
These past few weeks and months I have felt like I am the worst parent in the world. And I do not say that as hyperbole. All the roads I thought were leading to obedience and responsiveness in my children were doing the exact opposite.
I finally picked up a recording of a radio interview with Dr. Kevin Leman based on his book, Have a New Kid by Friday. The second I was finished with the CD, I gave it to my husband and made him listen to it. Then I borrowed the book from the library and read it in one day.
I started to put these ideas into practice in our home and I have already seen a huge difference. My kids are more responsive, I feel more in control and the underlying struggle, drama and emotion has been diminished. Dr. Leman’s main idea is “reality discipline”. It’s letting your actions speak louder than your warnings, spankings and lectures.
I was just going to share one or two of my favorite tips from Dr. Leman’s book but as I was writing the post got to be so long, I thought it might be fun to do a play-by-play of the book. Then we could unpack one chapter each day…just like the book suggests. What do you think? Wanna play?
Next Monday, July 19th we’ll start a week long series tackling some of the issues in Dr. Leman’s book. I’ll give you some of my favorite parts. Then we can discuss in our forum how this practically works for our families.
If you’d like to get the book before we start discussing it, I found it at the Family Christian Store this weekend for only $5. (On their website, too!) The audio is only $7.98 on ChristianAudio.com. Or you can always try the library, that’s where I read it to begin with!
I’m looking forward to talking to you about this. Parenting is not for the weak. And it’s certainly not for the solitary. I need people to help me and I’d love to talk with you about this book and these principles!
Mary-Carolyn says
Amanda,
As a brand-spanking new parent, I’m curious to know at what age this book really becomes applicable. I’ve seen this book a lot and always been interested in it, but I don’t know if it would be best for me to wait a bit to read it or not. What do you think?
Leigh says
I’m in. I’ll be at the beach all week, so it will be a perfect time to read it!
Toneka says
I’m checking the library right now. I’m at the end of my third trimester with baby #4 and my girls have been getting away with so much! Even when I’m right on top of them with discipline it seems to do no good at all!! Looking forward to reading this.
Christy says
I just picked this book up today on the advice of my Pastor’s wife! I’m excited about joining in the community discussion.
Monica says
I have been struggling lately, too. I am so in need of fresh ideas or a good refresher. I’ve taught Dr. Leman’s book “Making Children Mind without Losing Yours” a couple times and always get so much from it. I think I need to join in with you.
.-= Monica´s last blog ..A Real Cowboy =-.
Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect says
I’m so glad you’re going to do this series! I read part of this book but got frustrated because I couldn’t figure out how exactly to use the strategies with Annalyn. My choir director’s wife read it, though, and loved it! Can’t wait to read what you have to say about this book!
.-= Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect´s last blog ..Pizza Crust from Scratch =-.
ohamanda says
Yay! I’m so excited!
Mary-Carolyn: I wish I had read this earlier! I think the whole point is the PHILOSOPHY of this “reality discipline” rather than the actual nitty gritty of what to do in every situation.
.-= ohamanda´s last blog ..Top Ten Tuesday- Messes I Don’t Wanna Clean Up =-.
Jessica says
This sounds wonderful- I think all of us parents struggle- I look forward to hearing more about this book! (I am new to your blog- just stumbled upon it- & I am so glad I did- What a precious family you have!)
Blessings, Jessica
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Baking… With a TODDLER =-.
SaraR says
Oh, I just want to cry. I so could use this right now. I’m right there feeling like the worst mom ever. Most times these days I feel like I’m talking to the air when I ask my daughters to do something. I’m logging on to the library now to see if they have the book.
Tara says
I picked up this book at the library a week or so ago. I haven’t managed to read it all as yet, would love to join you in thinking about it.
I’m sure you aren’t the worst parent in the world, cos I’m pretty sure that’s me this week.:)
.-= Tara´s last blog ..stocktaking =-.
Amy says
This sounds terrific. Going to find the book now. Looking forward to discussing it with other moms in similar struggles.
Audrey says
I can’t wait for this! I’m not struggling with much yet (my oldest just turned 3 yesterday), but I’m hoping to prepare and prevent as much as possible.
.-= Audrey´s last blog ..Why I Am Not Vegan =-.