It’s 11am on Sunday. Usually I’m at church manning two preschool classrooms. Today I’m sitting on my couch as Lydia, Asa and Les all take a nap. I’m also listening to the washing machine which is full of Lydia’s carseat pads. Yes, I’m washing them because we had our first car-vomit.
All morning Lydia was sleepy. She sucked her thumb, laid on the floor and was generally listless. We finally got into the car (late) where she ate a breakfast of grapes and cheese (I’m sorry, we were running late!). We were about 2 miles from church and I look back to see Lydia throwing up. But not just a little spit up. Oh no. It was like a horror movie, yall. It was a fountain of vomit.
Les pulled over, I jumped out of the car and yanked her out of the carseat. I ran with her to the side of the road where she is still throwing up. She had it all in her hair, down her dress and who knows where else. I pulled her dress off (effectively wiping it all over her face) and then used the dry parts of the dress to clean her up. (Did I mention she had grapes for breakfast?)
And where is my loving hubby? Oh, he’s celebrating Father’s Day by gagging and dry heaving next the car. SERIOUSLY.
So, I let the two of them sit in the front seat while I get on the sidewalk with a water bottle and a sock (it’s all I could find) to wipe the carseat out. I swear I was out there for ten minutes. I finally had to take half the cushions off and throw them in the trunk. Just thinking about those grapes makes me shudder.
I put her back in the un-padded carseat (wearing only her Elmo panties) and we drive home. About five minutes from our house, she starts screaming, “STOP THE CAR, MOMMY!” We were at a red light, so I jumped out and pulled my puking, naked child to the side of the road. She was absolutely covered in vomit. She was crying and finally wailed, “WHY ME?!” (Which makes me laugh and cry at the same time!)
I was standing on the corner of the intersection watching cars drive by (including my husband) and realized I had no way to clean up my daughter. So, I did what any mother would do…I took off my shirt. Thankfully I had a tank top underneath…a flesh colored, too-tight and way too short tank top, but a tank top nonetheless.
I wiped her off and walked across the street to where my husband was parked with a very tired Asa. We finally made it home, dumped Lydia in the bathtub, I nursed Asa (did I mention I have a plugged duct?!) and then got everyone back in the bed. I went outside to survey the carseat damage. I took it apart piece by piece, sprayed it down with some all-purpose cleaner and then set it in the sun to dry. Hopefully I can remember how to put it back together again.
Now I’ve scrubbed myself down, changed clothes and am sitting on my couch hoping everyone sleeps for at least an hour.
Like I said, Happy Father’s Day to me.
ps…the best part of the whole thing is that I twittered it. When I got home I checked my twitter replies and my in-real-life friend Alicia responded with this:
The more I think about it, the funnier it is…
Erin G says
we skipped church, too, but I don’t have nearly as good of an excuse.
We had our first car vomit in february – I did your hubby’s part (throwing up myself, on the side of the road), AND your part (car seat surgery). http://mgoetts.blogspot.com/2009/02/carsick.html
I’m sorry your day got off to a rough start. Get some yummy easy take-out for dinner after the kids are down. That way the night will end on a better note. 🙂
.-= Erin G´s last blog ..They Should Rename it ‘Mark Day’ =-.
jubilee says
Oh, my. What a day you had today already! Hope everything, and everyone, is getting better.
Kathy Hill says
I’m so sorry you had such a rough morning. We missed you on the hall.
As I have a carsick kid, I’ve taken apart a car seat more times than I can count. I think I can put it back together with my eyes clothes. However, the first time is pretty hard. I’m praying for you for when the time comes. Bring it inside into the air conditioning. You’ll get REALLY frustrated in the heat.
I still keep a car vomit bag in the car – just in case (and she’s almost 7). It contains… two kitchen trash bags, several gallon ziploc bags (she can actually make the vomit go in one of these now), a change of clothes, a roll of paper towels, and a package of wipes. It has come in handy MANY times for both car sickness and the inevitable tummy bugs.
Prayers for a restful day and no more episodes.
Christy says
This sort of thing always happens on Sunday mornings! Sorry you had to stand on the side of the road sort of naked. Too funny about your friend twittering about it, though!
mandi says
Oh Amanda!! I’m so sorry:( Is she feeling any better? Do you think she has something or something just didn’t settle right?? On a lighter note, that is too funny about Josh & Alicia … I’d love to hear her side of what she saw:)
Rachel says
Oh dear! That is too sad! I’m sorry your Sunday started out so rough! Sundays should be more restful!
I hope that Lydia feels better soon. That “Why me?” comment was the best! I’m glad you blogged it.
Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba) says
Poor Lydia. Poor Mommy. Poor Daddy.
Is she feeling better?
.-= Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba)´s last blog ..Who are the people in my neighborhood? =-.
TCKK says
I hope everyone is feeling better! So not one of the most fun things about motherhood!!
Alicia K. says
Amanda! Now I really feel bad! We should have stopped! I first saw you and said “I wonder what’s going on over there? That little girl is in her underwear?!?” Josh recognized you and said “Hey that looks like Amanda H” so then we debated all the way to church about it and whether we should have stopped or not. I didn’t realize you live so close now! Then I saw your tweet and that confirmed that it was indeed you. Poor little Lydia getting so sick! I had to giggle about the part where you husband was gagging cause that would have so been Josh! So sorry again for not stopping!
Musings of a Housewife says
Oh my goodness gracious, that one is for the record books.
And lol about your friend seeing you on the side of the road!
.-= Musings of a Housewife´s last blog ..Fashion Question of the Week: Black to a Wedding? =-.
Amber Ferrell says
Oh my, I am totally dying with laughter over here…but only because I have totally been there! Our first car puke happened just a couple of months after we bought our van…that broke the new car smell pretty fast. Curdled chocolate milk. And strangely, both times we have had car puke days (Emma both times), we were always on our way to church. We now keep an entire roll of paper towels in the van at all times for puke fests. It will inevitably happen again.
Thanks for the laugh today. Hope Lydia is feeling better and it stops at her and doesn’t get anyone else.
The Diaper Diaries says
Oh my goodness. When you are ready to laugh about this, I will be laughing with you. Until then, I will keep my laughter to myself. It was really the twittering that put me over the top. I hope you are having a better afternoon and evening.
.-= The Diaper Diaries´s last blog ..Frugal Friday- Old Navy Deals =-.
Qtpies7 says
I’m not sure what I would rather deal with, your Father’s Day horror or mine. I had a spider drop down into my bra. And I am a serious arachonophobe. I was screaming and pulling my shirt and bra down until the thing jumped out. Then I did my best not to have a total melt down since we still had a full day of parade ahead of us. Which was a horror story to itself. Line up at 12 for the parade that starts at 1. No biggie, right? Sure, if you are the first 50 floats! When you are float 112 you don’t reach the parade start for two more hours! It took 4 1/2 hours for that parade, and 2 hours each way to get there, lol.
But yeah, vomit is bad, too. I just am much more comfortable with vomit than spiders.
Qtpies7 says
Oh, I sound like I don’t sympathize, but I do! We have car sickness, so we deal with car puke all the time. I know it is gross, but it doesn’t bother me too much anymore.
Tricia says
OOHH, what a morning for you!!!
I had to laugh at your husband puking because mine would do the same…some guys have the weakest stomachs.
Hope your family feels better soon!!!
Erin says
As I was reading I was like “okay this is bad, but it could be worse.” That is until you said you had to take off your shirt with your too-tight flesh colored tank top on and were standing in the middle of an intersection. holy cow! That’s painful! At least it makes for a great story! I hope Lydia’s feeling much better! (And that no one else gets whatever she has!)
Wendy says
This has happened to us, too. We were on a FL beach vacation with Evan (pre-Ryan), and stopped on the side of the road in the middle of town to try and rinse out his car seat. Dh took off his shirt to put under Evan, who was sliding around in his padless seat. We figured our GA license plates would explain why they were both driving down the road half naked. 😉
Wendy says
P.S. Hope Lydia feels better, and the rest of you stay well! HUGS!
Gina says
Oh my! At least you had a tank top on! I’d have just had a kid covered in puke!!! After Annie got sick in the van @ Christmas 2007, I started keeping two bath towels and a basin under the back seat…just in case! And it’s come in handy a couple of times. I’m so sorry and I hope she’s feeling better. FWIW, the cheese would’ve made me shudder more than the grapes.
Will Blog For Shoes says
I feel like I need to apologize to you for laughing through most of the post. Poor, poor Lydia. I DETEST throwing up. It always makes me cry. But do you know what’s even worse? (Yes, you do!) Cleaning up someone else’s throw up! That makes me cry to. And it has caused me to yell “Why me?” on occasion.
I’m so sorry that your morning was so stinky. Hopefully they slept & you had time to recover. And fully deodorize.
Blech.
.-= Will Blog For Shoes´s last blog ..Bloggy Ketchup =-.
Catie says
Ouch.
Leigh says
Oh, Amanda… I’m so sorry. Happy late father’s day… at least the rest of your day sounded better.
Carolyn says
Bless your heart! There’s not much worse than a fountain of vomit in the car … unless is it massive diarrhea. And both are impossible to clean up and to get rid of the odor. Had to laugh, though, when you said your hubby was standing alongside heaving too. And people think women are the weaker sex. Ha!
Janna says
Ugh. As the mother of an extreme-gag-reflex-child who has also had the stomach virus one too many time, I feel your pain. (And yes, my hubby would be dry heaving, too, as he is the originator of the extreme-gag-reflex-gene for Andrew!) I have even thrown away a booster seat after a particularly nasty carsick incident in South Carolina (and picked one up at the Target near our hotel – thank God it was close!). Let me also say that as long as I have small children, I want to always have leather seats – and not the perforated leather kind. Just sayin’…
I do hope Lydia is feeling much better now (and I assume she is from your next post) and that you, too, have recovered from the trauma!
Crystal says
I am so sorry to say that I was laughing my head off when I read this post…not at your misfortune, but just at the sheer “oh-how I can relate!!” aspect of it all! YOU POOR THING!!! And poor kiddo too! Glad everything is better!! 🙂 God bless!
PS…the twitter comment just takes the cake…
.-= Crystal´s last blog ..Hilarious Post =-.
sarah says
sorry to hear about your rough morning. though we had a rough morning ourselves, i will take sifting through ashes over vomit, i would be gagging and heaving if i was in your shoes, I don’t handle vomit well. hope everyone is healthy.
Stephanie says
I am crying in laughter. I’ve been there – with both kids AND my nephew. The car seat is a pain in the patooty. Hilarious!!!
Becky says
We still talk about the time that Jake did that. It wasn’t grapes…. it was grits. Hurl! Do you know how hard it is to clean up grits? They are very… gritty.
Denise@TogetherWeSave says
Oh gross.. I hate car vomit. I am very impressed with the whole shirt deal. You are an awesome mom.
.-= Denise@TogetherWeSave´s last blog ..Printable Coupon Links =-.