motherhood

photo by the ridiculously talented Beth Fletcher

Every day I wonder if what I’m doing is ok.

Is right.

Is good.

My kids watch TV during breakfast. Should we sit at the table and talk instead?

I blog during their naps. And sometimes I surf. And tweet. And ignore my inbox. Should I do the laundry instead?

I make dinner at 5pm. Maybe I should think about it before then?

I discipline. Should I spank instead? Or try a time out? Maybe I should just ignore the bad behavior?

I get up at 6 and still can’t squeeze a shower in before Asa gets up. Maybe I should get up at 5:30?

I read other blogs and think, “Oh, I should have written that!”

I forget the important things because I’m focused on the now. Or because I don’t want to think about the hard.

And every day this happens again. It’s like Groundhog’s Day in the life of a stay-at-home mom. I wonder how I’m doing. If I’m doing what God wants. And then the next day I wake up and try to do better.

I’m not sure if it’s a treadmill. Or if I’m getting up one step closer, one day closer, one hurdle closer to where God wants.

I know God orders my steps. He’s planned a life of hope for me. Am I spending my life following what he’s laid out?

What if every day we could see the progress we made? What if every day we changed one thing to get closer to what God has? What if every day were a step toward the good in store for us?

I think it is.

Even when I don’t feel it.

Don’t see it.

Can’t feel it.

Jesus promised he’d never leave us or desert us. Not one day. Every day He is with me.

And I’d be a fool to think he was standing idly by.

:: :: ::

linked to the sparkler of a woman, the Gypsy Mama and her 5 Minute Friday.

{ 15 comments }