This morning before I even had breakfast, I had already sent one child to their room and the other one was sobbing in my arms for disobeying me. Not to mention the whining puppy and my (I promise I’m not jealous) still-sleeping husband. I had (have) a million things on my to-do list. Things I feel like I should have already done but just can’t get to because life…especially Christmas life has just taken precedence.
I could feel that…thing bubbling up inside me. You know? The thing that makes you lash out and want to roll your eyes at your kids? The thing that makes you short and loud and abrasive? Instead of curling up into a ball on the couch (which is what I wanted to do) or dive into my cell phone or computer, I sat on the couch and pulled out my Bible and journal.
I’ve got a new journal called Prayer with Purpose: Passionate Prayers for Children from Jenica McMaster of Delightful Mom Stuff. It’s a praying-for-your-kids journal (which you know I love!!) and I’ve really been enjoying it. It’s not a big book or step-by-step guide like some of the prayer books I’ve told you about.
This one is really a journal–nice empty pages with just a topic on top and some Scriptures to lead your heart. I usually just flip through the book until I feel the one I need. Lately I’ve skipped over “witness” and “healthy body” for “gentleness”, “passion for God” and “servant’s heart”.
When I begin to read the Scriptures, meditate on them and write my prayers to God in the blanks below, I find that my prayers usually turn back to me. Me begging God to help me be the model of this to my children. Me petitioning for a changed heart. Me asking for forgiveness.
These prayer topics have led my own heart into getting in line with God’s Word. There is something about writing these prayers out. Not just reading them or thinking them. But writing them. Pencil to paper, with underused handwriting makes my mind think in a different way. Slower and without so many rabbit trails. More focused and able to focus.
So, today, after my huffing and puffing, the prayer that was supposed to be for my kids (for them to have a wise tongue) was actually a prayer for me to model a wise tongue, for me to use my tongue to bring life and healing, not pierce like a sword.
And don’t you think, when I pray that for me–it’s for my children, too? Because the sin I see in my own life is something I want to shield my children from experiencing. I can pray with such passion because I know how filthy sin can be. That’s why I pray for them and me.
I’ve been wanting to write a Gift Guide for moms this year. You know, the stuff you’d love to own, you just don’t know about it yet? This Prayer with Purpose journal would be on that list. It’s a simple little journal. But if you open it up and view it as a little space, a prayer closet, an open well, you’ll be refreshed and renewed. You’ll meet with God.
Jenica sent me both journals for review. Opinions are my own.