I read an article once about nagging your kids. It was kind of a scientific thing and I can’t remember all of it, but basically it was about how when we are yelling and nagging at our kids for the 50 millionth time in a row, all they hear is the actual nagging, “Pick up your toys! Turn off the light! Do the dishes!”
In actuality, I don’t care about the toys, the lights or the dishes. What I care about is my kids obeying. What I really want them to know is, “You are part of the family. Your help around the house is a gift to us. Learning to focus on cleaning now will help you focus as an adult later.”
So, instead of hounding them on the actual chore or activity, we need to be
nagging encouraging them on the heart issue. I don’t always remember to do this, but when I do, I can see such a difference in my kids’ attitude and mine towards them.
The main reason I don’t focus on the heart issue is because I don’t really know how to word it. You can’t pull out a Bible and say, “The Bible says to do the dishes!”
You know what has helped me and given me the tools, the words and direction? The We Choose Virtues program. I’ve written a full review about it, when we first started it as our morning devotion on our homeschool days. Now that we’ve been through all 13 virtues (and started them over this week), I can see how it helps me as a parent.
For example, when the kids are dancing around the dishwasher and using spatulas as swords; instead of turning around and yelling, “DO THE DISHES!”. I can easily say, “I need you to be diligent with the dishes. What does that mean?” They’ll respond, “I start fast, work hard and finish strong.” To which I can respond, “Are you working hard?” And then they (usually) start working hard.
Isn’t that a better conversation? A better lesson?
I would not have been able to have this conversation (even though I’m fairly well-versed in the Bible and in the character qualities I want for my kids) without the definitions, declarations and devotions from We Choose Virtues (how ’bout that alliteration, eh?).
Our virtue this week is, “I am Helpful: I find things that need to be done and I do them.” HELLO. Isn’t this the kind of kid you want? The kind of employee? spouse? parent?
I could go on and on about We Choose Virtues. It’s like they chose all the verses from the Bible you want to instill in your kids, then made easy to remember declarations for each one. It is one of my favorite weapons in my arsenal. (Maybe tools in my toolbox would be a better description?)
Until February 10, you can get 20% off the Family Kit with code FAMILY20. This is what I would get if I were you. It comes with:
Parenting Cards (which have the virtue definitions and the devotions/activities)
Flash Cards (smaller cards with the definitions–perfect for putting on the dinner table or on the fridge)
Virtue Poster (includes all the virtues and definitions–we have ours taped inside our pantry door for easy reference!)
Three Rules Poster (the three rules are 1)obey 2)be kind 3)be a helper. how awesome is that?!)
+ free downloads like coloring sheets, awards and a teacher’s guide.
If you’re a homeschooling family, there’s a homeschool kit that includes some extras. And if you just want the bare minimum, all you need is the Parenting Cards. You can use code VIRTUE15 and get 15% off your whole cart! (Cannot be combined with the 20% code above.)
I love the Parenting Cards so much, We Choose Virtues is giving away one set (worth $35) today!
Affiliate links included. I became an affiliate for We Choose Virtues because I am totally in love with it. You can be one, too!