I read an article once about nagging your kids. It was kind of a scientific thing and I can’t remember all of it, but basically it was about how when we are yelling and nagging at our kids for the 50 millionth time in a row, all they hear is the actual nagging, “Pick up your toys! Turn off the light! Do the dishes!”
In actuality, I don’t care about the toys, the lights or the dishes. What I care about is my kids obeying. What I really want them to know is, “You are part of the family. Your help around the house is a gift to us. Learning to focus on cleaning now will help you focus as an adult later.”
So, instead of hounding them on the actual chore or activity, we need to be nagging encouraging them on the heart issue. I don’t always remember to do this, but when I do, I can see such a difference in my kids’ attitude and mine towards them.
The main reason I don’t focus on the heart issue is because I don’t really know how to word it. You can’t pull out a Bible and say, “The Bible says to do the dishes!”
You know what has helped me and given me the tools, the words and direction? The We Choose Virtues program. I’ve written a full review about it, when we first started it as our morning devotion on our homeschool days. Now that we’ve been through all 13 virtues (and started them over this week), I can see how it helps me as a parent.
For example, when the kids are dancing around the dishwasher and using spatulas as swords; instead of turning around and yelling, “DO THE DISHES!”. I can easily say, “I need you to be diligent with the dishes. What does that mean?” They’ll respond, “I start fast, work hard and finish strong.” To which I can respond, “Are you working hard?” And then they (usually) start working hard.
Isn’t that a better conversation? A better lesson?
I would not have been able to have this conversation (even though I’m fairly well-versed in the Bible and in the character qualities I want for my kids) without the definitions, declarations and devotions from We Choose Virtues (how ’bout that alliteration, eh?).
Our virtue this week is, “I am Helpful: I find things that need to be done and I do them.” HELLO. Isn’t this the kind of kid you want? The kind of employee? spouse? parent?
I could go on and on about We Choose Virtues. It’s like they chose all the verses from the Bible you want to instill in your kids, then made easy to remember declarations for each one. It is one of my favorite weapons in my arsenal. (Maybe tools in my toolbox would be a better description?)
I’m excited because today, I’m celebrating with We Choose Virtues. They have a new website and blog and to celebrate are giving gifts to YOU!
Until February 10, you can get 20% off the Family Kit with code FAMILY20. This is what I would get if I were you. It comes with:
Parenting Cards (which have the virtue definitions and the devotions/activities)
Flash Cards (smaller cards with the definitions–perfect for putting on the dinner table or on the fridge)
Virtue Poster (includes all the virtues and definitions–we have ours taped inside our pantry door for easy reference!)
Three Rules Poster (the three rules are 1)obey 2)be kind 3)be a helper. how awesome is that?!)
+ free downloads like coloring sheets, awards and a teacher’s guide.
If you’re a homeschooling family, there’s a homeschool kit that includes some extras. And if you just want the bare minimum, all you need is the Parenting Cards. You can use code VIRTUE15 and get 15% off your whole cart! (Cannot be combined with the 20% code above.)
I love the Parenting Cards so much, We Choose Virtues is giving away one set (worth $35) today!
Leave me a comment with the virtue you’d like to pound into your kids head encourage in your kids’ heart and you’ll be entered to win!
Affiliate links included. I became an affiliate for We Choose Virtues because I am totally in love with it. You can be one, too!
Patience! A virtue both myself and my children need to be reminded of daily.
We need to learn self-control. Self-control over our emotions; self-control over our words; self-control over jumping out of the closet and scaring our sister. Thank-you so much, Amamda, for this article!!
For contentment and obedience. Love your blog Amanda. Thank you!
Self-control for me, for them, for all of us!
I love this set! We do this in a homeschool group that we are a part of! I would live to win a set for home
How do I choose just one when they all seem so important?! But I think if I had to choose one virtue, ut would be kindness. When you are kind you are thinking of the needs of others and using self control.
Thank you for this chance to win. We need to learn more contentment and obedience.
My husband and I are constantly looking for ways to shape our children’s hearts and not just modify their behavior. This post was really encouraging to me, as a mom of 3 children ages 1, 3, and 5! I think the virtue I would have to pick is kindness. It seems to be a forerunner for many of the others. I would LOVE to win your free set! Blessings!
I would want to focus on self- control!
I would love to encourage my little helper! Obedience the first time would be quite lovely!
Self-Controlled!!! Throwing a fit when you have to get your diaper changed isn’t okay.
I have been looking at We Choose Virtues for several months now. The chance to combine biblical wisdom and life skills is so great! I couldn’t begin to choose a specific virtue to teach my kids – we need wisdom in all of them!
Self-control — I have two of mine that will melt down in dramatic sadness if things do not go how they wanted them to go. To have them be in control of how they express those emotions…we’re working on that!
Contentment! Even I need a lesson in that one
Contentedness, obedience, self control are all areas we struggle with.
Diligence is what we are working on over here in a major, major way…
This looks wonderful, and looking at the website… not something I can afford right now. Obedience and self control, my kids are 4 & 2.
Oh! I so need this! I wish I’d had it years ago, but with adding a 4yo and 5yo to the mix here soon, we REALLY need it! Don’t know what they’re biggest virtue would be to work on but I think my older kids would “accidentally” learn more in the process of teaching the younger kids!
Contentedness is our biggest struggle!
We need to work on kindness! This sibling rivalry is killing me!! I think I prefer 3am feedings :/
Oh boy! Being content! For sure :-):-
I would love them to have diligence and self control. Different ones for different children – 3 boys! Love your blog and the love you have for your family and the Lord!
I would say “selflessness” or not to be selfish, but I guess that’s not a virtue, so being kind to one another.
It’s difficult to choose a favorite but I suppose self control would be one of the top. If they could “get” that, if I could
get that we would be wonderfully strengthened for the rest of the virtues.
At the moment… Obedience! It’s been something we’ve been working on lately & it hasn’t been easy! Would love to win!
Self control is my favorite
kindness
It would definetly be obedience! Thank you for the giveaway.
If I have to pick just one…obedience. Could really use this!
LOVE these! I’m all about having little “phrases” to say instead of having the harsh “because I said so” response. You had me at “diligent”. I really think we are in a season we could be working on all of these virtues. But with 4 boys I’m thinking “kind” would be a nice character quality to focus on! Thanks Amanda!
Self control and Forgiving! I have been thinking about doing this for so long now! I’m seriously excited!!!
Thank you for test running them for us all
I would love to have my children learn more kindness for eachother.
Sure need these, just as much for me as my children! I know I need to model them!!! Right now though, we are struggling with teaching contentment!!
I would love to have these for my family looks awesome.
I’d love my kids to develop better self-control.
Amanda, this is just what I need right now! Thanks for sharing. Love the pic…you know Asa and Layla are the same age and she needs to get her “wanter under control!” Hope ya’ll are doing well! – Melissa
This sounds incredible! Overall, my kids do very well but, we have had some struggles with being diligent lately and, indeed, it can be hard to not fall back into nagging as a parent. I know my kids would really respond well to the positive nature of this set; thanks for the opportunity to possibly win it!
Is there a big difference between the parenting cards and the teacher’s cards? I would love to use this resource in our children’s ministry, but need to consider budget.
As far as I know the parent/teacher cards are the same. I *think* the only differences are if you get the NIV or the KJV. You might wanna email We Choose Virtues personally and double-check! They are super friendly and will love to help, I’m sure.
heather@wechoosevirtues.com
Kind!
No Worries about entering me to win, I just love this so much and wanted to say that this K-12 teacher turned homeschool mom loves it!
I love the format, I love the verbiage, I love the simplicity, I love the colorful materials and the chart!
We are meeting Gerbil & Jill tomorrow as we learn to be gentle and so far this has been HUGELY successful with Diligence, Helpfulness and Perseverance…and for me too!
I come to the end of the day and the bedtime routine is staring me in the face…I’m whipped and wish I could just twinkle my nose like Samantha Stevens (Bewitched) and the kids could be peacefully asleep…but then I think to myself, “Self, you started fast today, you worked hard, now finish strong.” And knowing that these tie right into scripture, I call it to mind and the Holy Spirit empowers me with the 2nd wind I need to end my day on a high with my babies, totally invested right to the very last blown kiss and whispered goodnight.
Good Stuff!
Thank you, Jen! You are so right–it helps ME evaluate my attitude. In fact, I just started taking a picture of the parent card and putting as the lock screen on my phone so I memorize it and think about it all day.
Love hearing your experience (you encourage me!).
a
Can I pick two? We need to focus on kindness and contentment here!
Definitely self-control!
We are working on different ones with each of the kids but I think it could easily be summed up in self-controlled!
Hee hee, we don’t even have kids yet and I totally would love this! This future mama needs to learn diligence for herself (give the freebie to someone else though!).
To be content! I need to learn that to as a parent!
At this moment in time I want to instill no complaining and being content!! The whole family needs to learn this lesson, including the mom (me)!!