Sunday mornings.
I know how it is.
You have to wake up a little earlier. You iron dress shirts, find matching hair bows, tug on tights and make sure breakfast doesn’t get on any of it. Then you race to the car and pull into your church’s parking lot 2 minutes before service starts. You run to the children’s department–check in all the kids at different doors. After prying your youngest off your leg you schlep into service while they are singing the last song and then attempt to stay awake during announcements and a sermon about being a witness while on the job. But it’s not even over yet. You pick up your kids from their class (where they’ve been loaded up with red kool-aid and goldfish crackers) buckle them into a hot carseat while they scream for their macaroni art baby Moses craft. You stop at a restaurant and remember how Sunday lunches used to be a relaxing time with family and friends. Instead of the crazy whine-fest it is. You drive home and 5 minutes before you get home, your kids fall asleep effectively ruining any naptime.
Or is that just me?
I know why people don’t take their kids to church. I get why parents only show up to church every 3 or 4 weeks with kids in tow. It’s hectic, it messes up naps and meals and sometimes, well, it just doesn’t seem worth it. So, is it?
Why should we drag our kids to church faithfully each week? How do we even do it?
Here are some of my thoughts as a former children’s pastor, a life-long church goer and a mom:
1. Consistency
As with anything consistency is key. The more we offer green beans and squash on their plate, the more apt they are to try it. The more often we follow through with discipline, the more often our kids will respond. The more we take our kids to church the more they will love it and keep it as a discipline in their lives.
I hear parents say, “But she cries when I put her in the nursery.” or “But he doesn’t know any of the other kids!” These problems are both solved with consistency.
2. Memories
My best memories are from church events and activities. I’ve been on missions trips, to camps, homeless shelters, laser tag and roller skating rinks. I’ve cooked food, scrubbed floors and painted walls. I’ve sung in plays, served breakfast and made props. I’ve also giggled under covers, been on double dates and bridesmaids in weddings. All of these things were in the context of, because of, or with people from my home church. A church that made an effort to provide memories and experiences that were safe, encouraging and most importantly, centered on Jesus.
3. Servanthood
I am best friends with the same girls I met at church when I was 4 years old, in 3rd grade and later in 6th grade. Why have we been friends so long? We’re not very similar. We don’t live too near each other. We have kids at different ages. We went to different schools. What makes us stick together for so long?
Ministry. Our parents were involved at church. They were the ones that built stages for our Christmas programs. They were elders. They were camp counselors and Sunday School teachers. With that example, we had nothing else to do except follow in their footsteps. Which is why we spent afterschool, weekends and summers doing all those things I mentioned above.
When your children see you teaching a class (yes, even if that means you have to get there early, or stay an extra service), bringing food for a special event or hosting a small group at your house—what do you think they are going to want to do? Get involved. Do the same. Copy you.
4. Love Your Church
If your kids see you hating your church–complaining about the music, criticizing the teaching and barely tolerating the people–they will do the same. Find a church you can love. And they will do the same.
Church isn’t the end-all, be-all. Just bringing your kid to church every week doesn’t ensure their eternal salvation anymore than setting foot in a gym makes you fit. But if you make the real Body of Christ central to your life you will see your children join it and work as part of it.
If you haven’t been to church lately, I encourage you to go today! If you don’t have a church home and don’t know where to go, please email me! and I’ll do everything I can to help you find a Bible-teaching church in your area.
:: :: ::
So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25 (MSG)
originally published July 18, 2010
This is so true. My son cried every week and it was very hard for me to take him. Then, last week we dropped him off, he looked at us, waved, and said, “Byyyeee.”
Serving is soooo soooo important. Many of the high schoolers I led in small groups that served in our church are involved in church now as adults. Most of the ones who only came to small group are no longer a part of the church family. Serving keeps you connected and makes you feel like you are missing out on something when it is no longer a part of your life.
Absolutely! Being part of the Body means actively working & giving! Thanks!
Thank you for this post!
I grew up in church and my husband is in seminary. We are very involved with our church and are there every week, but lately (probably because I’m 8 months pregnant) I’ve been complaining a lot about my duties and how things aren’t going my way.
If I want to find volunteers and get people involved, I need to stop complaining and be happy about where I am. 🙂
Thank you!
Thanks for your comment! I have to say, 8 months preggo DOES get you a few perks! Hope you’re feeling good! 🙂
a
Sundays don’t have to be crazy! Get all of the clothes ready the night before. We actually sleep later on Sunday mornings than weekdays (and my husband’s the pastor, and we have three girls and one boy). All of the girls’ hair gets fixed. We go with easy foods for lunch so that everyone can get down for a nap (including the older kids who have long since dropped their naps). There’s nothing wrong with canned soup on Sunday afternoons. Do what you need to make it a full day of worship, not craziness!
SO true! I do NOT cook on Sundays. We eat quick breakfasts, go out to eat for lunch and I do NOT cook at night–it’s leftovers or sandwiches!
Thanks for the great ideas!
Amen and Amen! My husband is a pastor, so church attendance isn’t really a negotiable 🙂 but Sunday mornings used to be a nightmare, and then the rest of the day was ruined! I’ve started getting all the clothes ready the night before (mine too!), and we do EASY for breakfast (cold cereal, cereal bars) and leftovers or sandwiches for lunch!
Amen! You have described it all so well. It is so important to be consistent and the kids do get used to the routine. I am a KidMin director at my church and would love to see all of our families get here each week. I appreciated the “10 reasons to take your child to Sunday School” article / bulletin insert that Ministry-to-Children put out that addresses many of the issues you mentioned. Thanks for your heart to impress God’s word on our children. You are doing great things!
The more you do it the easier it gets too!!
I finally – FINALLY!! – figured out how much smoother life goes if I lay out all our clothes the night before. And then feed the kids in their pjs so they don’t dirty the church clothes.
*Or* sometimes stuff waffles and bananas in their hands on the way to church. haha.
My mum use to play a “game” with me when I was little – each Sunday she would assign different tasks – talk to a grown up I had never talked to before, find out what someone does for a living, say hi to four old ladies, etc. It forced me to talk to people outside of my peer group. It was awesome. I do it with my 3 and 4 year old boys now and love that it has helped foster an interest in other people in them.
awesome of you to offer to help people find a good Bible believing church – if you need any suggestions from Florida – just let me know- (grew up here & know pastors & churches all over the state) 🙂
This was a great post. As a Sunday School teacher, I think it is so important to share in worship with your kids and I would love for more kids to be in our class. You made some excellent points. I get so much from going to church that I feel out of place when we can’t go. Thanks for sharing this post
This is part of the reason why we go to church on Saturday night. Not that we didn’t regularly attend when we didn’t have that option, but I found that by the end of the morning I had NO joy about the whole experience.
When we go on Saturday night it is so much less stressful. And then Sunday morning can be lazy times when we truly enjoy family time with each other. It is one of my favorite mornings of the week.
If we had Saturday night church, we would totally do that. When we lived in Tulsa, we did Saturday night and I loved it!
a
Consistency is definitely key. Even if it seems like a toddler just is not getting it and isn’t sitting still for much of the time, your being at church teaches them that this is what we do on Sunday’s! In our church, I always have my daughter with me for the service and I find that church has really helped her learn how to sit quietly and experience what church is and means.
My husband and I have started to help lead a marriage class during the first service, which means we have to be there even earlier than before. Oh, and the last two weeks I’ve been later than usual. Which is just awesome. Today, I got to sit in our van while dealing with a fit throwing 3 yo. And at some point, I really had to ask “What am I doing? Why am I even here?” But when my kids walk away from their class singing worship songs and talking about Christ, I know it’s all worth it.
What a powerful post. I love your topic, and can’t wait to hear more!
Loved this! I have one seven yr old. and he has finally figured out that church on Sundays and Wednesdays too is just not up for discussion. Both my husband and I are involved in the ministry, my husband is our Pastor’s Ast, and I am our Wed. night Kid’s Pastor. So he has to go even if he’s sick, lol! But after seven yrs of this I heard him telling his dad today that he wanted to pray for a boy at school to get saved…wow! Some of it is sinking in. And he definitely know who to call on when he gets sick or has a problem. So consistency is most definitely the key!
I am loving this series. Thank you so much. Getting to church is a struggle (like yesterday!) but I am always so glad when we make it. It feels like such an accomplishment. 🙂
I do not know how to express my feelings right now. But I consider myself got a grip on life somehow….But motherhood just was one amazing opportunity that God gave me to influence his children. Honestly I did everything wrong in the beginning and for a while now….But lately things changed in my life that made me realize that these children need not just for me to give them all their physical needs and read just a bible story at night…There’s more..I stumbled on your website when I was looking for ways to organize my day and my life but I found more than I needed. THank YOU. God Bless You.
Oh, Marian! Thank you for the sweet comment! Praying for even MORE for you and your kids!
a
In my church the children sit with their parents during the service and then go to class afterward. One Sunday when it seemed everyone’s children were particularly restless, the speaker got up and said something quite profound. He said, “We value families and we value children. By bringing your children to church each week, they are learning how to worship.” I was so grateful for those words of encouragement and the acceptance of my children and it reminded me of the goal that my husband and I are working toward to bring our children to Christ.
This is so needed!! Church is such a critical thing that many forsake all too often. It is so important for our kids to understand the importance of the local church!
We don’t go to church. We be church. 🙂