My dad lost his parents’ marriage at 12 years old.
My mom lost her dad as a father before then.
My mother-in-law lost her dad at 10 years old.
My brother lost his house last week.
And all this loss changed them. What would they be like if these events had not happened? I asked my mom the other day what life would have been like if her parents had stayed together and been married today. It was something she couldn’t even answer. The loss of her dad’s relationship with her family (and then the subsequent loss of her parents’ marriage and then loss of her dad as an adult) is too big, too real and too THERE to ignore.
It’s strange that the LOSS of something can be bigger than the BEING. If my Grandfather had been a father and husband and was still alive today, would his influence have been as great as the bad things his loss brought?
It’s a scary question. Of course my kids would be scarred by losing me. But will they be equally influenced by me BEING here?
I can see wounds on people who have lost–parents, marriages, children, jobs, homes, etc.
But do I see foundations, blessings, roots and wings on those who have not? Will I live my life in such a way to bring those to my children? my husband? my family? my friends?
{read Lisa-Jo’s achingly beautiful 5-minute Friday prompt: LOSS and add your own thoughts!}
photo source: claytonaustinlovestories.com via Krystle on Pinterest
Powerful question, Amanda. This topic is a tough one today.
I know. I want to read everyone’s posts!
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“But will they be equally influenced by me BEING here?”
Oh, this is awesome and it’s exactly the thought I needed to ponder today. Thank you!
That’s challenging and thought provoking. My granddaddy is the only person I’ve lost who meant more to me in his life than in his death. I’ve wondered before what he did so differently than anyone else I’ve ever known. The only conclusion is : He loved me more than anyone else. Seriously. More than even my own parents. Just overwhelming, all consuming love.
A convicting thought on living filly and intentionally. Powerful five minute post.
“Of course my kids would be scarred by losing me. But will they be equally influenced by me BEING here?” That essentially is the question in my heart each day.
Losing my dad to divorce when I was 2, I think, was definitely more important in my life than had he stayed.
And losing my son when he was just a baby was probably the turning point in my life.
I am a different person because of those two huge losses. And yet, I don’t know that my life is WORSE. I see how God molded me because of those things; how I am a different (and, I think, better parent) because of them. I am more deliberate. And I have the ministry I do because I went through those losses.
The miracle of Jesus is that the bad is never the end of the story. God can bring good out of anything.
But even so, I am so grateful that my own girls are growing up with a dad! And my husband is making a huge difference just by BEING there with them.
I’ve been thinking of your brother and his family. Just yesterday I thought to myself that I should email you and see how they are doing. I shared my story with you and how I feel I know a piece of what they’re going through. Please let them know my prayers are with them.
This topic also hits close to home for me. I have never met my biological father and it was only last year – at 36 years old – that I met any members of his family (my uncle and cousins). I discovered that even stranger than loss is reunion. I still don’t know how I feel about all of it. And I mean ALL of it.
You always ask the hard questions, Amanda. So poignant here today.
~Love to you from way, way south 🙂
Whisperinggums: *nods* I am going to give it a go this way and see how it is. And yes, I could always move thgnis to another blog at some point if I wanted to we’ll see Thanks for your input.
Nice blog you have! And your wtsbiee loads up very fast! What web host are you using? I want my wtsbiee to load up as fast as yours lol
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Hey dear… dont worry.. Loosing things will always support you with God’s own hands. They will give you the best result in future. I wish you all the very success.
If you are human, you will lose. Someone, something, sometime. You will lose something you wanted to keep. It is life and it happens to everyone. Everyone will eventually bear some marks of loss. To think there are those and then there are “the others” who won’t have loss in their lives is a very short sighted view.
Time and chance happen to all.
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