Sunday mornings.
I know how it is.
You have to wake up a little earlier. You iron dress shirts, find matching hair bows, tug on tights and make sure breakfast doesn’t get on any of it. Then you race to the car and pull into your church’s parking lot 2 minutes before service starts. You run to the children’s department–check in all the kids at different doors. After prying your youngest off your leg you schlep into service while they are singing the last song and then attempt to stay awake during announcements and a sermon about being a witness while on the job. But it’s not even over yet. You pick up your kids from their class (where they’ve been loaded up with red kool-aid and goldfish crackers) buckle them into a hot carseat while they scream for their macaroni art baby Moses craft. You stop at a restaurant and remember how Sunday lunches used to be a relaxing time with family and friends. Instead of the crazy whine-fest it is. You drive home and 5 minutes before you get home, your kids fall asleep effectively ruining any naptime.
Or is that just me?
I know why people don’t take their kids to church. I get why parents only show up to church every 3 or 4 weeks with kids in tow. It’s hectic, it messes up naps and meals and sometimes, well, it just doesn’t seem worth it. So, is it?
Why should we drag our kids to church faithfully each week? How do we even do it?
Here are some of my thoughts as a former children’s pastor, a life-long church goer and a mom:
1. Consistency
As with anything consistency is key. The more we offer green beans and squash on their plate, the more apt they are to try it. The more often we follow through with discipline, the more often our kids will respond. The more we take our kids to church the more they will love it and keep it as a discipline in their lives.
I hear parents say, “But she cries when I put her in the nursery.” or “But he doesn’t know any of the other kids!” These problems are both solved with consistency.
2. Memories
My best memories are from church events and activities. I’ve been on missions trips, to camps, homeless shelters, laser tag and roller skating rinks. I’ve cooked food, scrubbed floors and painted walls. I’ve sung in plays, served breakfast and made props. I’ve also giggled under covers, been on double dates and bridesmaids in weddings. All of these things were in the context of, because of, or with people from my home church. A church that made an effort to provide memories and experiences that were safe, encouraging and most importantly, centered on Jesus.
3. Servanthood
I am best friends with the same girls I met at church when I was 4 years old, in 3rd grade and later in 6th grade. Why have we been friends so long? We’re not very similar. We don’t live too near each other. We have kids at different ages. We went to different schools. What makes us stick together for so long?
Ministry. Our parents were involved at church. They were the ones that built stages for our Christmas programs. They were elders. They were camp counselors and Sunday School teachers. With that example, we had nothing else to do except follow in their footsteps. Which is why we spent afterschool, weekends and summers doing all those things I mentioned above.
When your children see you teaching a class (yes, even if that means you have to get there early, or stay an extra service), bringing food for a special event or hosting a small group at your house—what do you think they are going to want to do? Get involved. Do the same. Copy you.
4. Love Your Church
If your kids see you hating your church–complaining about the music, criticizing the teaching and barely tolerating the people–they will do the same. Find a church you can love. And they will do the same.
Church isn’t the end-all, be-all. Just bringing your kid to church every week doesn’t ensure their eternal salvation anymore than setting foot in a gym makes you fit. But if you make the real Body of Christ central to your life you will see your children join it and work as part of it.
If you haven’t been to church lately, I encourage you to go this weekend! If you don’t have a church home and don’t know where to go, please email me! and I’ll do everything I can to help you find a Bible-teaching church in your area.
:: :: ::
So let’s do itβfull of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25 (MSG)
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Sandra says
Love this Amanda! My church is taking steps to make sure children (and their parents!) feel welcome and comfortable in our services. Children will model what they see and hear– we need to be setting the best example possible!
.-= Sandra´s last blog ..Before & After Dresser =-.
Cathe Holden says
Awesome post! We did lose many early years in church to exactly what you described. As the kids got a bit older, 4th grade-ish, things got much easier. Now they drag US to church. If I even suggest there may be something else on the calendar on Sunday, it’s a real issue for 2/3 of them. You bring up so many excellent points and solutions. I am so glad we have a church family, though I am only beginning after many years to become a bit more involved and make friends, my children have made bonded relationships I know that they can count on for life. I might add to your list, when looking for a church, do your best to find one within your own community. It is a great thing when my children walk into church to see their school friends, and walk into school to find their church friends.
ohamanda says
Excellent point, Cathe! It’s true–if we want our kids to have “church friends” they can actually hang out with, we need to be in a church near us!
Thank you for your comment!
a
Jeni says
Great post, Amanda!! We have always thought that consistent church-going (and more importantly, church-belonging) is very important for our family. We do get some raised eyebrows, though, because we choose to keep our kids in the worship service with us instead of in the kids’ programs. Our reasoning for our decision is that we want them to learn to be a part of the body as a whole, to participate as fully as they are able in the services. It would certainly be easier for us to let them go to the kids’ programs; most Sundays have us doing a little bit of wrestling and scolding during the service. But at our church, the kids’ programs are more about entertaining the kids and keeping them out of trouble than about really teaching them anything. So we keep them with us in the service, and try to teach them to sing and pray and listen to the best of their abilities.
.-= Jeni´s last blog ..WFMW- Mess-Free Painting For Your Preschooler =-.
Andrea @ MommySnacks.net says
Such a great post, Amanda!!
I am that mom with the kid stuck to her leg screaming as I try to walk out. I just look up at the helper and say “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine in 2 minutes.”
As you know, we were church shopping for the past year. During all of that, it was hard to get our boys to understand why we left our church. They loved it they wanted to be back. During some weeks when we were in between visiting a new church, who were the people to encourage us to get ready to go to church? Our kids. And, Caleb would cry as we tried to put him in his SS Class. And, T would get lonely because he didn’t know the other kids. But, they wanted to be there. It was a normal routine for them (well, mostly) because we were faithful in attendance and involved in action with our previous church family.
Again, great tips. No reason to be nervous π
.-= Andrea @ MommySnacks.net´s last blog ..Bob Evans BEmail Kid Times Birthday Club =-.
Amy says
Love this and completely agree! Especially reminded about being involved as a parent. Since we switched churches for the first time last year we haven’t gotten extremely involved.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Give a Hoot =-.
Stacey @ Tree, Root, and Twig says
If you felt a little nervous about writing the post, then I certainly feel a little nervous writing this comment. My husband is in the area leadership for our church, so is already gone for meetings every Sunday morning by 6:30. I get up, get all five of our kids ready, get the puppy taken care of, and head to church by 8:30. Most of the time I sit by myself with the kids, since many times my husband is still serving in another congregation in our area (either because of meetings or speaking assignments, etc). Our church is THREE hours long – the first hour is entirely with the children, the second and third hours we divide between classes. I do this every Sunday – not entirely without complaining – but I do it because I know it matters. We’ve been commanded to gather often in worship. Sometimes I get something out of what’s being said, sometimes I’m completely focused on keeping the 2yo quiet. But we’re there. My parents never took us to church because (a) I’m sure the hassle was too great, and (b) they said they ultimately wanted us to “choose for ourselves” about worship. There’s no choice to be made if there are not options to choose from. I agree with every point you’ve made here – we need to be consistent, we need to offer our children those opportunities to bathe in the Spirit, we need to fellowship and show we are one in Christ with our fellow worshipers. Whatever my kids choose to do once they are grown, this is what I will provide while they are in my care. Great post, Amanda!
.-= Stacey @ Tree, Root, and Twig´s last blog ..Introducing Milly- the Pinkest Kitten- from Aurora Review & Giveaway =-.
Sherry says
Great post! We are at church practically all day as my husband has prayer meeting at 7:30 and then dd has bus at 8:15. SONday school doesn’t start until 10, but we sit and fellowship, fold bulletins, etc. beforehand. Church ends at around 12:15 or so. back to church at 4:30 for choir practice and evening church at 6. It is a blessing to come together to hear God’s Word though, serve, and fellowship with other believers. My children love to serve!
.-= Sherry´s last blog ..Fire! Fire! =-.
Staci Brown says
Oh good memories at RCOG!
.-= Staci Brown´s last blog ..Dating Diaries =-.
Lacie says
Thank you for this great reminder! I just share this with all of my Facebook friends π
Krissa says
Just the encouragement I needed right now! We pretty much haven’t been to church much since my youngest was born…and he’s 10 mos. now. But my 4 yr. old keeps asking why we don’t go anymore. My excuses are similar to what you mentioned…totally messes up naptime and I don’t want the baby to get sick from being in the nursery. But we just need to make it a priority and oh well if naptime is messed up for one day. Thanks for the encouragement.
.-= Krissa´s last blog ..Rain Gutter Bookshelves =-.
Leigh says
I echo that it is so important to have children gather to worship the Lord! Our meeting place is a bit different, too – we spend 4+ hours there every Sunday – with an hour of prayer and worship (and no childcare/Sunday school during that time – the whole body assembles for worship) and an hour of message/Sunday school for the kids – plus time serving the body and having fellowship and a meal after the message. The Church is the body of Christ, and children are a part of it. Every part needs to be built together and function – even if it’s Elias’s gift of encouragement for the other kids or adults, or the kids “helping” the men set up tables for lunch. If we missed that, they would not be learning how to serve the body of Christ. The reasons you give are vital to building the body of Christ, and instilling the love of the body in our kids! Thanks so much, Amanda!
Mela Kamin says
Absolutely! It’s not easy. I taught Sunday School for 6 years, I direct VBS, we are small group coordinators … so often when we ask others to help, their response is, “but what will I DO with my kids?” Ummm – bring them with you – that’s what we do. Our kids know the church like the back of their hands – involving them isn’t to trick them into loving church – they might hate it someday & resent we were there 24/7, but it’s to show them that we are about our Father’s business. If you love camping or football or whatever, you involve your kids to open them up to something new and something that’s a part of you. If you really want to do it, find a way to make it work for you.
Gilda says
I hear you on this. Some days you’re just so tired that you don’t think you can make it out there and back in one piece. But we never regret going to church (with our kids in tow). They actually ask us about every other day to go to church, so I know we’re not “dragging” them to something just because we think they should go. But maybe we’ve also been blessed by attending great churches.
Since we’ve had our kids, we’ve been a part of two church families. Both have had cry/parent/nursing rooms (for if you have young kids but want to keep them with you) that is still part of the service. Both have had great teaching for adults in service and Sunday school options. Both have had great children’s ministries, where the kids don’t just get “watched” but actually are told stories and taught things (from as young as 1 years old). So, you can see why our family LOVES to go to church on Sunday, parents get a nice break, kids have a blast and everyone learns a little more about God. π
Thanks for your post. I hope this encourages others to go out on Sundays too.
Kristy says
I totally agree 100%. Well said π I absolutely love this blog, I was hooked from the moment I stumbled apon it. Thanks and keep up the woderful work.
Jen @ BigBinder says
Yes yes yes! Not that I always make it – especially in the summer because there is no babysitting and there is nothing more boring to a 5 and 7 year old than the last 30 minutes of Mass (the first 30, they are OK with…) I was whining one time about “not getting anything out of it” to a woman at my church; and she said “The blessing is that you’re here”. It took a while, but I got it – it’s a lot of what you said.
Myrtle says
Hi again,
Loved this post too! Our church has 9 am services during the school year and it seems so difficult. Then I ask myself why is it easier to get everyone to school on time and not church? I still haven’t found the answer. Anyway, we started your ABC scripture series and boy was it an eye opener. I wrote about it today:
http://myrtlesturtles.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-stumbled-upon-amazing-site-that.html
check it out! WE are moving on to B today!
Myrtle
.-= Myrtle´s last blog ..Stumbling on Gentleness =-.
Jessica says
So glad you shared this!! It is worth all of the “fuss” to take our little ones to church!
Jessica
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Lots of Little GIRLS & 1 Little BOY =-.
Eos Mom says
I needed this post! There’s no childcare at our church so we’re in the “cry room” with our kids and it’s hard and we wonder why we even bother. So thank you for reminding us why we should bother. π
.-= Eos Mom´s last blog ..MPT11-Ninth Grade =-.
jancd says
As I am at home this Sunday morning, I should not be commenting on this post. But, I must say, I love my church. I am usually there on Sundays and Wednesdays and feel better when I am in regular attendance. Just being around my Christian friends, hearing the Word, listening to the beautiful music–it fills my soul for the week ahead. Our minister gives us a formula that makes our church a growing, Christ-filled place—-one hour of church, one hour of Bible study class, one hour of volunteering. When each of us does this every week, plus our usual at home Bible study, our body of believers is a well run group. Of course, we are all just sinners saved by God’s grace, but we stive to be a loving group reaching out to those in need of a helping hand, a word of encouragement, or just a smile and touch of hand. I love my church.
Jennifer Y. says
One of the best posts I’ve ever read. Seriously. Thanks for saying it–just go!
Krista says
I love this! Perfect!! Dead on true, every single thing. Now to get more parents to commit. Because it’s not just the kids who have fun amd make friends, the adults do too! My church family is my family, as I am physically 1000 from my biological family. And this family isn’t a bunch of dysfunctional nutjobs on Thanksgiving!!
K-Sue says
Well said. Not much to add, so I just linked to you. Thanks for saying it.
Musings of a Housewife says
Yes, so true. I grew up going to church every week no matter WHAT, and we do the same with our family. And we are there on time. Is it hard with 3 kids? Sure, but it’s what we do. It can be done.
No, church attendance doesn’t earn us any crowns in heaven or secure our salvation, but it’s the commitment that we make as believers and as members of the Body.
And I LOVE your advice about loving the church. So many are all about what church does for them; that isn’t the point. I hope our kids see us loving and supporting our church.
Thanks, Amanda!
amy says
Thank you for this post. Now I don’t feel so alone! I know so many parents who don’t take their kids to church– but as for me and my house, we will be in the house of the Lord!