I’m so excited to share this guest post with you. I met LeighAnn when I was a part of a church-planting team in Florida. She is a mom to three and a strong woman of God. Plus she’s cute and funny! She blogs at Devoted Living.
In the fall of 1975, my parents agreed that it was time for our family to bow out of Halloween. I was so young when they changed policies that I do not remember trick or treating the previous year. I do remember a few awkward October 31st s when the doorbell was ringing, and we were hiding inside our house. There was the disastrous year that we passed out candy and Christian pamphlets together. That effort only annoyed and offended our neighbors.
Mom and Dad knew that, for our family, we should skip Halloween altogether. The challenge was: what to say to people without sounding judgmental. Non-Christians thought we were weird about everything so this seemed no different. But for some reason, Christian families that did celebrate Halloween were mad at my parents. They seemed to have an unreasonable anger that we wanted to avoid the events of that holiday. Why couldn’t they let our family just do what we felt led to do?
There was this dread over us each year, wanting October to come and go without a confrontation with anyone. As a kid, I didn’t know what to say when other adults and teachers tried to convince me that my parents were depriving us of this innocent kids’ holiday.
For several years, we felt alone in the stand against Halloween. School was the hardest part of the season. My mom was a teacher and decided that it was best to let our teachers know that we didn’t celebrate at home, but that we could participate in school activities and needed no special treatment.
My older brother recalls how hard it was that our neighbors were all outside on Halloween night, and we had to stay inside. One year we were particularly discouraged about not going trick or treating and hauling in assorted candy. After school, we slumped onto the sofa. Dad came in with several big bags of candy and spread them out on the coffee table in front of us.
“What is this?” we asked. His answer has stuck with me ever since.
“This is not about candy. We will buy you plenty of candy. This is about our family obeying God. Your mom and I both agree that it is best for us to not celebrate Halloween.”
In that moment, I finally understood that we were not being punished; we were being protected. Our parents had always been strict about not enticing us with evil in movies and books, so Halloween was just not acceptable. Recently a friend shared with me that she can still see images of horror movies that she watched as a teen. These scenes pop into her mind at unwanted times. I was protected as a child, and I am so grateful for it. I have to fight sin in my own life. I don’t need any extra evil added to my load.
WHAT WE DO. My husband and I and our three kids do not “do” Halloween. In 11 years of parenting, we have approached this in several ways depending on the age of our kids. We have tried church fall festivals, but we felt like we were enjoying G rated Halloween. It took a few years to get a routine that works for our family. It’s really about consistency for me and that is not simple, because Halloween lasts for several months and is everywhere we go. When a funny character offers them candy at Sea World, we say ok. Do we dress up specifically to trick or treat at Sea World? Well, no.
My seasonal survival methods include the following: 1. watching DVDs and taping TV shows ahead so that they are not watching Halloween ads on Disney Channel for the entire month of October. 2. avoiding stores that are overly decked in mummies and skeletons. 3. finding an activity for October 31st that gives the kids something to look forward to and gets us out of the house.
Recently, I decided to reclaim fall as a fun time of year for our family. We can focus on things that are good. The weather is nicer, and we want to be outside more.
We also plan our October 31 activity each year and include other families who are opting out as well.
Mini golf has been a hit the past few years. We try to pick a place that they haven’t visited in a while so that we all look forward to it. We snack on our favorite candy and enjoy spending time together as a family. We have redeemed the day, but it is still an effort to stay upbeat and not get discouraged by the volume of creepy creatures all in the name of innocent fun.
WHAT WE SAY. Is the fight worth it? Is this a worthy cause? It would be so easy to just go along with a safer version of this holiday, but I know I can’t. I know that we need to “avoid it all.” We are planting seeds now for a harvest in their lives as they grow in the Lord. We are keeping weeds out of the garden by not participating.
If you are looking for courage to opt out of Halloween, I hope to offer that here. Even with no memories of trick or treating, I am fine. I have no pictures of me in Halloween costumes- as cute as I would have been. I do not have regrets about missing Halloween as a kid.
The younger your kids are when you establish new traditions, the easier it is. Have your answers ready for your kids with details and verses. Tell them why you are uncomfortable with Halloween and be honest that you are praying for guidance about the best way for your family to spend that day each year.
And, most importantly, have your one liner ready for strangers. When the sweet dental hygienist asks every year, “What are the kids going to be for Halloween?” It’s now easy for me to gently say: “we don’t do Halloween.”
Leigh says
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing this!!!
Heather @ Not a DIY Life says
Leigh Ann, THANK YOU! We have a 2.5 year old daughter & we (mainly I) have struggled with participating in Halloween activities and the peer pressure. My husband and I have a lot to discuss.
.-= Heather @ Not a DIY Life´s last blog ..Strength =-.
Alyssa @ Keeping the Kingdom First says
Can you point me to some verses that relate to avoiding sin and evil? I would love to share them with my kids. Thanks so much!
.-= Alyssa @ Keeping the Kingdom First´s last blog ..Giveaway: Mom’s Best Naturals Prize Pack =-.
Robyn says
Dear sweet LeLe, I am one of those former neighbors that felt sorry for you being inside on the best candy day of the year! Thank goodness God convicted me before I had children about “opting out”. You and your family were a great example, even when I was blind to the truth. We have a great time on Oct. 31 as a family. Sometimes we have a candy scavenger hunt with like-minded friends or do an out of the house activity like you. Some years we darken the front of the house, hide in the back den and watch a family movie. Our community is pretty sympathetic and it seems to be an unwritten rule not to knock on someone’s door where there are no porch lights on. We still have to deal with all the yucky decor in people’s yards (my little ones say, “Hide your eyes! Rated R!” and we avoid the costume aisle at Wal-Mart but for the most part we just enjoy the blessings God gives us in the fall colors and cooler air. Thanks for the encouragment! Robyn
Amy @ Amy Loves It says
I LOVE this… I would rather not “do Halloween” myself. I will be pointing my husband toward this post. THANK YOU!
.-= Amy @ Amy Loves It´s last blog ..Pursuing God: Is He Your Number One? =-.
Rachel says
I don’t do Halloween, either. This year has been the hardest because it’s the first year my oldest son (8 years old) has really felt like he will be missing out on something. We’ve talked about it and he understands where I’m coming from, which is good. I’ve always felt alone in not wanting to do anything, but this year, I’ve seen it all over the internet – there ARE people like you and me. It is great encouragement for me to realize that I’m NOT alone in this. Thank you for such a well-written post about the subject.
Angie @ Many Little Blessings says
We are mostly opting out of Halloween this year, for the first time ever. We might go to our neighbors with our youngest only (as she really wants to), but our older boys (8 & 10) don’t want to trick or treat anymore. They are seriously creeped out by all of the scary costumes and set ups in some people’s yards.
We will be going to a party, but it will be an All Saints Day party, and everyone will be dressed as a saint.
.-= Angie @ Many Little Blessings´s last blog ..Cleaning My Itty Bitty Craft Room…Once Again =-.
Jodi says
Thank you for this post! Our family also opts out of Halloween, and this year so far has seemed particularly rough for people putting me on the spot about it – as you said: Christians, mostly. This year will be our second year (if they do it!) attending Chipotle Grill’s free burrito give-away (for anyone dressed in tin foil as burritoes) on October 31st. I guess some might see this as a little too close to Halloween, but it avoids everything we feel convicted about avoiding and appeals to our sense of frugality too 🙂
Once we’re home, we will give out candy mostly after the girls are in bed. Again, so far we haven’t felt convicted about avoiding this part, and we don’t want to seem like the unfriendliest folks in the neighborhood.
We will definitely have to continue praying and carefully considering how we deal with this over the years. And Christmas, too, but that’s another topic for another day 🙂
.-= Jodi´s last blog ..MoJo Monday: Embrace the Humbling =-.
Jenn @ Beautiful Calling says
I grew up trick or treating. After I was married and we had our daughter, we did the Harvest Party at church but we too felt like it was a Christian Halloween Party.
.-= Jenn @ Beautiful Calling´s last blog ..When You Don’t Celebrate Halloween… =-.
Lindsey Whitney says
Great post. This is a big struggle for me. We never celebrated Halloween as a child and I was okay with that, but as a kidmin director, I really want to use this opportunity to get out in the community and shine a light on this dark night. We’ve have a block party for 4 years now, passing out invitations to our church along with candy and hot chocolate. We set up games and play Christian music. This year, we moved the party to our own front yard (it was at another congregation member’s house previously) and suddenly the statement “we don’t celebrate Halloween” started to sound a little silly … well… sorta, but … not really… we’re just using it as a way to reach the lost… and to my 4 year old, it was a whole different ball game… can she dress up? Can she go to our block party but not to the neighbors house? oh boy. Finally, we said she could dress up at something nice this year… but now I’m regretting the decision! Still weighing the options, but I appreciate this article!
Tiffany says
Thanks for your suggestions Halloween. We have opted out of Santa clause and the easter bunny, for obvious reasons, but we still participate in harvest festivals at our church. Love your take on this. Blessings, Tiffany
Mike Ford says
I take my kids to a different neighborhood each year and they go door to door passing out hundreds of tracts each year. It has been such a blessing to our family using what Satan intends for evil and turning it into something that brings life. Min 6 years of doing this, only one person refused a tract, yet hundreds thanked us.
Jen says
Great post. I do want to stress that this is what is called a matter of conscience.
I think it’s great that it looks like a lot of parents are obeying their consciences (that’s good!) and abstaining from Halloween altogether. It would be sin for other Christian families to berate them or pressure them to do anything else.
On the flip side, it would also be sin for those families who abstain to judge families who don’t as though their consciences were the moral law.
I did not get that sense from the post (that all other Christian families should reject Halloween in the same way), but any time issues of the conscience come up, it’s always good to remember what the Bible says (Romans 14).
Personally, our family sees it as a dress-up day. We get the kids all costumed up, and drive to visit close friends (and bring them treats). I don’t like the creepy stuff, but dressing up has always been fun for me.
JulieK says
Oh my goodness!! I have felt this year (with boys 4 and 2) that we were the ONLY family “opting out” – it was a lonely October. I wish I’d seen this blog post earlier – you have said with such grace what I have been thinking and trying to explain to people all along! 🙂 I will be sharing this article and referring to it. Would also love to see your verses that you use!