We’re not doing Halloween this year. We’re not dressing up. We’re not going to pass out candy. We’re not going to a festival-y carnival-y thing at a church. We’ll probably turn our lights out and go to bed early. Why? Because Lydia is too afraid. Not necessarily of Halloween—but of every big, loud, scary thing she sees.
And like I said before, I can’t rectify trying to do something fun (ie trick-or-treating) while placing my daughter in a situation where she WILL come into contact with something MEANT to be scary, evil and/or gross. And I feel good about that decision. I don’t want Lydia to love things that are purposely dark. I want her to always be wary of things that are opposite of GOOD.
On the other hand, I’m a little disappointed because I was really looking forward to dressing up. I had 80% talked my husband into dressing up as characters from UP (hubby=Carl Fredrickson, Lydia=little Ellie, Asa=Dug, me=Kevin or Russell). I thought it would be nice to meet some of our neighbors. Plus, I love me a good Reece’s pumpkin.
Here’s the thing: Halloween is a holiday with blatant pagan roots. It just is. There is no denying that Halloween, in it’s beginning was straight up evil. And for many people today, they still identify with it’s evil-ness and celebrate that. As a Christian, I do NOT want any part of that. I don’t want my kids to see a funny ghost and like it. I don’t want a cute zombie to be something they desire.
However, in 2009 when the Halloween candy rolls out and the pumpkins start appearing, most of our world is not thinking of that evil. Most people think of Halloween as costumes and candy and neighbors.
What should a normal American Christian parent do? Well, I certainly will not fault someone for hiding from Halloween. People who choose to close their doors and turn off their lights are obeying God by staying far far away from even the appearance of evil. At the same time, I can’t fault someone for letting their kids dress up like a cowboy and get candy from their neighbors either.
I DO have a problem with people dressing their kids up as mass murderers or dead cheerleaders. (<—I know someone who let their 8 year old daughter be a dead cheerleader.) I have a problem with people decorating their homes or stores with disgusting scary things that are intended to frighten children. I used to have a friend that put fake tombstones in her front yard with her kids’ names on them. That’s just TOO much. I believe in speaking good things over my kids, why in the world would I ever ACT out something so evil towards them?!
So, what is a normal American Christan to do? Here’s a few fun ideas I’ve heard or experienced:
Safe House. Be the “safe house” in your neighborhood. Decorate with pumpkins and other fun things. Have a few carnival-type games in your front yard. Hand out food or snacks. Serve coffee for parents. If you can, get some other people at your church to do the same and have “safe houses” all over your city. When someone asks why you’re doing all this, tell them it’s because you want to shine the light of Jesus on a dark night. And to be the coolest house in the neighborhood!
Pumpkin Party. My friend Mandi hosted a Pumpkin Party this year. Everyone brought a pumpkin and she provided the rest. We painted our pumpkins, frosted pumpkin cookies and had pumpkin snacks. It was a fun time to “do” the Halloween stuff without focusing on the yuckiness. It’s the same idea as doing a Spring Party in lieu of Easter.
Church or Community Event. If you haven’t hit up a local community or church event at Halloween, you need to check it out! Most churches around us host Harvest or Fall Festivals—complete with carnival games, food, candy and inflatable games. If you go to a church it’s usually free and scary-costume-free! I’ve been to a few community events (including the Zoo) and when it is advertised as a family event, it usually is scary-free.
Go Early. If you want to do the trick-or-treating without the scare factor, just go while it’s daylight. Most of the preschoolers will be out then and most NORMAL people will know not to answer their front door dressed as Darth Maul.
Host Your Own Party. I’ve heard of a cool Willy Wonka party on Halloween, an All Saints Party (come dressed as your favorite saint) and even an Iron Chef party! Try hosting a themed event where people can dress up how YOU want them to! You might just start a NEW tradition!
It’s always a struggle for us because my husband’s family didn’t celebrate Halloween and mine did (and my family is Christian, too). Growing up it was never about the evil-ness of Halloween- just the fun dressing up and candy.
We didn’t let our kids take part in Halloween until a couple years ago. First of all, Noah was on a special diet for a few years so it was easy to avoid because he couldn’t have the candy. But then when he was off the diet and in public school, it was harder to ignore.
We attend the school Family Halloween Night but it is mainly action figures and Disney Princesses and not very many scary costumes. We will also be going to a church event on Halloween, and not trick or treating. My kids have never been trick or treating (stemming from the diet issue and it was just something I decided they never needed to do LOL).
My husband’s family doesn’t approve of Halloween but I feel relieved finally being able to be a Christian participating in this situation- it reminds me of my childhood and has been good family time with my kids. I am glad we can be Christians loving others at the school party, etc instead of the dark unfriendly house or family that shuns others for participating.
I think there is a way to have fun with it and still shine a Light if a Christian chooses to still participate in Halloween.
Steph
I love the idea of a safe house. Very creative. What parent walking around with their kids trick-or-treating wouldn’t love some coffee and saying hi to a neighbor? Playing games on the front lawn? Genius!
.-= Holly at Tropic of Mom´s last blog ..Pines =-.
Our church has a Lighthouse Post program which is similar to your safe house idea. We hand out cider to kids and parents.
.-= Tricia´s last blog ..Feb. 9, 2009 =-.
I love you for tackling this topic!
We’ve kind of avoided the whole topic of Halloween until now. I HATE the scary aspects (and my oldest and Lydia are very much alike in their sensitivity to stressful or scary things), but we love to dress up in general, and I love me some chocolate. LOL!
This year we’re going to the Harvest Festival at my mom’s (large) church, and my main motivation was that I don’t want my girls to view our faith as “the thing that kept them from having fun.” We definitely have standards, but I want to save the “do nots” for the important things! For us, this doesn’t fall in that category.
.-= Mandi @ Doodles’ Place´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: It’s a Baby…in a Salad Bowl! =-.
great post, Amanda! I really like the safe house idea, too!
Given most of the decorations up on our street, I’m not sure I agree that most people just think of Halloween as costumes and candy, and aren’t thinking about the evil. Decorations are about evil and death and darkness. Much-desired costumes are still witches and monsters. I think most people have just become accustomed to it, because evil, in our culture, is not really contrasted with good. I mean, we have vampire movies and stories where the vampires are the good guys. And shows where the main characters are witches. We are no longer offended by evil.
.-= Rachel R.´s last blog ..Kitchen Project – backsplash? =-.
Ya know, I just read an article over the weekend about the “Christian” beginnings of Halloween, trying to dispel the idea that Halloween started as a pagan holiday. I don’t really think my beef with Halloween is its roots. What it has become is what I have a problem with.
I love the idea of a pumpkin party because I love fall. I might host a pumpkin party next year.
I’m glad that LB doesn’t know that she’s missing something by not trick or treating. That’s why I need to talk with Hubby and decide on our stance on Halloween before she gets much older. (We decided last Christmas what our stance on Santa is – I’ll have to blog about that in December.)
Thanks for good food for thought!
.-= Heather @ Not a DIY Life´s last blog ..Strength =-.
When my kids were tiny, we made special treats (like cookies or brownies), dressed them up in adorable costumes and went to “treat” the widows and elderly from our church. We always called ahead, and by the 3rd year, they knew to expect us. It became such a special part of our holidays. We moved away and planted a church, so now we spend Halloween doing a Harvest Party for the community, with a thousand or more guests. It is a beautiful way to reach out to people who don’t have a relationship with Jesus and pour love and attention on those kids! But I will always treasure those special widows who loved on my kids on Halloween! One has Alzheimer’s now, and we went to see her last year (after 4 years away). We were told she wouldn’t remember us, but she remembered my kids’ names and went on and on about our special times together! Such a beautiful memory for all of us!
Trisha! I love this idea–taking the TRICK and focusing on the TREAT! I’m totally tucking that away! What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it!
a
We do cute/nice costumes only (I talked all 5 of my kids into being Care Bears this year!). We only do happy or silly pumpkins and leaves for decorating. We live in a very rural area so we don’t get trick or treaters or have a neighborhood of our own. We don’t like the dark so we visit an area town or two that have trick or treating at the downtown businesses in the morning on the weekend before. On Halloween, we’ve gone trick or treating at the mall in the area and our local grocery store does trick or treating through the departments for the kids. We also visit a dear lady we went to church with. We try to avoid anything scary or gross and even try to bypass the Halloween area of stores as best we can. We’ve tried to make it a fun celebration for this time of year and stay away from the rest.
Great ideas–and I love Care Bears! I wanna see all 5 of those costumes!! 🙂
a